Song Of The Sea
by HoplessAndWandering
Summary: Severus was too late. when he got to their cottage Lily was already dead and Harry, their sweet child, was traumatized to the point of no return. Lucius was at large and the world was unsafe. Leaving Harry with James Potter and his Partner Sirius Black was his only choice as a spy and a father, and Severus couldn't afford to lose.
1. Chapter 1

A/N; This is the summer fic fest entry for Potions and snitches. It would be six chapters at most. The story is AU and Lucius Malfoy has taken over the death eaters after the Dark Lord's downfall.  
This story contains mild slash between James Potter and Sirius Black, but it's mostly hinted at and not explored due to the period typical homophobia in the wizarding world at the time.

Warnings for; possible use of explicit language

* * *

He was late.

He knew that he was. He was afraid that he would have been too late regardless of his haste, but after all the hurrying, he was still late.

His ragged breath whistled in the air and his robes hassled the greedy branches that cut into his vision, they were shredded among the sharp edges. The faster he ran, the more brutal the tears in his robes were, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to; he just had to make sure.

The clear night was steeping into twilight, and he still wasn't far enough to apparate from the borders, he wasn't going to make it, and even if he was quick enough, there would be no point. He already knew that his Lily was dead.

He pushed his lungs into submission and ran the last few feet before falling to the ground, his legs giving away from sheer exhaustion; he had ran all the way from Hogsmeade's train station –just near the magical border- to the headmaster's office on second floor only to find the man gone. That was when he knew something was skew, and he just knew it was Lily.

Without a pause, he stormed the office and ran into the halls. Frantically pushing through the barreling swarms of students and running out of the castle. His mind reeling a hundred paces ahead of his running legs.

He thought of a hundred possibilities, should he send a Patronous? Would that give them away? Would it even matter? If the dark lord had found his family then it didn't even matter if authorities were called. The dark lord was fast, ferocious and without mercy. If they were found, then they were dead without question.

The young man crawled out of the gate's borders on shaky knees, his skin grazing on the harsh, cold cobblestones, as he tried to ignore the heartburn clawing at his chest. He got his wand out, and shakily got back to his feet.

"Expecto…Expecto…" he couldn't finish the incantation, flashes of Lily's dead body and Harry's glazed over green eyes, lying prone in his crib blurred his vision.

Come on Severus! He mentally shook himself and took a deep breath.

"Expecto Patronum." He whizzed out, flicking his wrist, a flickering raven burst out of his wand, hysterically flapping its non-corporal wings.

"Lily," Severus called out. "Don't stay in the house, something's wrong. My arm…there's something wrong with the mark. Take Harry. Just go. Don't waste time to take anything else, leave the files… Just take our son and leave."

The raven disappeared and Severus only managed to take a few steps, readying himself for apparition before a searing pain tore through his forearm and he cried out.

The pain throbbed in a way that the young man believed there wouldn't be any arm left if it kept on burning; it went deep down to his bones and scalded the skin of his forearm.

But the pain that went straight to his heart was one of another kind; the burn of his dark mark was the burn of victory, one of acclaim. The dark lord was euphoric, gleeful, and victorious. The pain that the young potion master felt was of utter misery and grief. It was too late.

Severus didn't dare waste another second; he could care less about killing himself by leaving half of his body behind, or losing a limb. He closed his eyes, envisioned their hiding place in Godric's Hollow and apparated without a second thought.

Spirals of smoke engulfed the green skull in the sky, enhancing the nausea and the blurring in his eyes. Severus didn't know how, but somehow he was already racing into the rubbles that littered the front of their ruined house.

With throbbing hands, he tore his way into the cottage, ignoring the smell of burnt flesh that hung around the living room and their dead cat, Charlie, collapsed under a few rubbles, he already knew that he was the source of the abhorrent smell and felt disgustedly relieved. With a sense of doom, the potion master goes to the stairs, holding on the walls for support.

Shattered glasses, from the broken picture frames crunched under his feet and dug into his torn black robes, firmly embedded in his boots. Wood splinters from the plasters on the wall and the roof was sprinkled down on the last few steps to the second floor.

Severus numbly dragged himself up the stairs, a loud whimper caught prisoner in his bulged throat, and he wanted to scream in anguish, to tear his skin into ribbons, gauge his own eyes out just so he won't have to see his wife dead on the ground.

Lily. His perfect Lily. His wife. His best friend. The mother of his child, Lily.

She was partially jammed under the roof, rubble and large breaks hid her lower back and her hands were outstretched towards the nursery's door, her green eyes were glazed over and frozen in their widened state, her mouth pruned.

Severus finally let out an anguished cry, falling to his knees next to the woman he loved and delicately moved the debris from her back, carelessly throwing them around, not mindful of the grime gathering under his desperate fingernails.

There was no question that she was gone, and the potion master feared that he already knew that, even while sending that patronous, or even as soon as he saw Albus's office deserted and harried.

The sweet aroma of her perfume engulfed all his sense as he embraced the cold motionless body of his first and last love, gently rocking them both back and forth, utterly consumed with grief.

He almost didn't hear it at first, but his early sleepless nights as a parent had accustomed all of his senses to his child, so much so, that Severus didn't have to hear the quiet sniffle a second time to bolt out of his place in a panic.

He warily repositioned his dead wife back on the ground and strode to the nursery frantically. He budged the ruined door and unhinged the door frames with his hands, before the mangled door finally broke down.

He had completely forgotten Harry the moment he saw Lily's body. The possibility that his baby was trapped in here for merlin knew how long, scared and alone, only added to the unimaginable guilt and expanded the hole gaping his chest.

Debris covered the ground and the roof was partially destroyed, but the crib and the area surrendering it was suspiciously clear of any rubble. Harry sat petrified, in the middle of the wooden crib, one thumb crammed in his mouth and the other clutching the bars on his crib. His forehead was bleeding and his vivid emerald eyes were glazed over with tears.

Harry was by no means a quiet child, but he made no sound or indication of seeing him after he forcefully entered the small nursery room.

"Oh, Harry." Severus muttered, almost falling over as he raced over to his son. He gently reached down and tried to pick the boy as slowly as he could manage with all of the stress and grief.

Harry wouldn't let go of the bar, and kept whimpering as his father persisted. "Come on now," the man pleaded. "It's over, alright?" another sniffle replied his begging and Severus was too exhausted to try arguing with his traumatized one year old. He wanted to just seat along and cry with him.

He crouched down next to the crib and reached over for Harry's face, attempting to clean the dried blood to take a good look at the head wound. The child's face crumpled the moment Snape's hand was close, and the moment his hand touched the baby's face, Harry started sobbing in earnest.

Severus panicked and stood. "Shh…Shh, Harry. I know baby, I know." He picked him up and cradled the small child to his chest, hushing him and swaying in hopes to calm the hysterical cries.

Harry's cries didn't die down no matter what he did. He paced around the nursery for what seemed like ages, even cried alongside the child on the ground for

longer than that, and rocked them both back and forth the way Lily would have done. Nothing was working, Harry wasn't using his words, he wasn't calling for Lily, didn't even call Severus's name the way he normally would have.

It broke Severus's heart, to see how frightened Harry was; the child must have seen something to be so terrified. Maybe he had heard Lily's screams in the hallway. It didn't look like anyone had broken into the nursery as the door was jammed shut from the commotion that was caused outside, but at this point Severus couldn't rule anything out.

Harry's fingers closed around the front of his robes in a small fist, and his face was buried in Severus's neck, the child wasn't going to stop soon, but Severus knew he didn't have much time left.

If Harry was alive, then they were going to come back for him, the dark mark never left a victim behind, they were going to come back for Harry and Severus couldn't spare any more time than he already had.

He tenderly reached out and maneuvered the child in front of him, making him sniffle in distress.

"Daddy needs to look at that, alright sweetie?" Severus muttered softly, caressing Harry's hair with numb fingers.

"Dada." The baby croaked out, his face breaking as a small pathetic sob escaped his pouted lips.

"Shh, it's okay now, Daddy's here, hmm?" Severus brushed out Harry's blood caked hair out of his forehead and fished out his wand. Harry flailed upon seeing the object and started crying again. Snape warily threw the wand at the other side of the room, pressing Harry's face back into his neck.

"Alright, no wand. No magic."

Harry was afraid of wands for some reason, the potion master realized in horror; did he know how Lily died? Had he seen it happen from his nursery? Did someone enter the room after all?

"Harry, use your words baby." He asked miserably.

The child didn't respond and Severus was dangerously close to losing it, he didn't know how to do this without Lily, with her dead body only a few feet away from them, with his son somehow injured and too traumatized to even cry properly. They needed to get out of here, and fast. But Lily was /dead/ and everything felt wrong.

The potion master needed to find Dumbledore and tell him what happened, but had no idea what to do with his wife. He couldn't just leave her here, and he couldn't apparate with both her body and their child.

Feeling overwhelmed, Snape cursed himself and stayed there on the floor with his son, both crying silently until Harry's breathing slowed in exhaustion. Severus closed his eyes; this was the first time their son had cried himself to sleep.

Suddenly there was a crash from downstairs, jolting Severus to his feet. The man dodged to find his wand in the rubbles, his heart beating so fast that it was a wonder Harry remained asleep in his arms.

The sounds continued ascending into the staircase, and Severus closed his eyes; they were here for Harry, he couldn't apparate out in the nursery and he couldn't fight with a sleeping child in his arms.

He unclasped his robe with one skilled hand and quickly draped the long fabric over Harry's face and small body, wrapping him while guarding the hallway with his wand.

The child sniffled quietly but didn't wake. Feeling relief flood in his blood, Severus set the sleeping bundle of robes under the crib, hoping to delay the intruders if they were searching for Harry, and effectively blocking Harry's face so the child wouldn't be forced to witness Severus's death too.

Just as the heavy-footed intruder reached the second floor, did the potion master abandon the child and darted behind the ruined door.

The intruder crashed into the floor and let out a very familiar wail, surprising Severus. Snape swallowed, perking his ears to confirm his suspicious before peeking from the wall.

It was Hagrid. He thought numbly upon seeing the wailing giant, who was cradling his wife. A sudden wave of relief and despair washed over him as he stepped out of his hiding place, his wand still in hand just in case.

"Hagrid." He called the man, approaching him with caution.

The giant leapt back violently, his pale face hidden behind a wild mane of beard and tracked with colossal tears.

"Se'eus?" the man sniffed in disbelief, his hand still holding Lily's shoulder. The younger man swallowed his grief and nodded.

"Yes." He choked out.

Hagrid wiped his face with the sleeve of his threadbare jacket. "I'm so so'ry Se'eus but I' have to make s-s-s-sure." The giant stammered.

Severus felt a hot coiling knife stab him in guts as he nodded. "Of course, Hagrid." He pulled his wand on his wrist.

"Severus Tobias Snape, code name is Corax." His voice broke. "This is my house."

Hagrid nodded tearfully, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. "Rub'us Hagrid, code name I' Optio."

Severus sagged against the wall, staring blankly as Hagrid gently lowered his wife back on the ground and brushed her eyes close, dampening her pale, grey face with tears.

"Har'y? Is he…?" Hagrid choked at the mere thought. Severus only hesitated for a moment before feverishly shaking his head.

"He's sleeping. They left him alive. The door was jammed from the outside, so I don't think anyone got in with him, but he's still injured… his forehead was cut." He was too distraught to question the injury and how his baby got hurt, a pulsing headache pounded in his head and the anxiety was building up as each second passed by.

"We need to get out of here." He told the giant, reclining his body to cover Harry's room from view. He was feeling oddly protective and distrustful of the man; all he wanted was some respite.

A small, muffled wail rose from the nursery and Severus rushed in to get Harry out of his robes, Hagrid stood to watch from the door. Severus continuously muttered apologies as he cradled the small child to his chest, knowing that he had frightened Harry. The splotchy faced baby trashed in his arms and shrugged the long and heavy robe away from himself.

"Dada!" the boy sobbed, pulling the fragile string on Severus's heart.

"We nee' to get ou' of here' Se'eus." The man stated quietly behind them as the wailing got louder. Severus nodded, swaying and pacing around the room, pushing Harry's face in his shoulder so the child wouldn't see Lily's body.

Hagrid didn't move from his spot, and wrung his rough hands together. "I'm so so'ry to ask Sev but… I work for Dumbledo'e… we nee' the files."  
Harry whimpered when he saw Hagrid, his tiny hands curling into Severus's shirt and his lips quivering, as if he was afraid Hagrid was going to take Severus away from him too.

The potion master nodded carefully, settling Harry on his chest before fully turning to face the older man.

"They're in our room." He said quietly, gazing at his wife.

Hagrid took off to the end of the hall, exposing Lily both to Harry and to his father. Harry's crying started anew when he saw Lily and Severus cursed himself for not covering the child's head again.

Harry called for his mother time after time, his voice more shrill with each failed attempt. The scene was so heartbreaking and unbearable for the young father that he carelessly strode out of the room and swept past his wife without a second glance.

Their room was positioned close to the nursery, but was a vast disappointment to their master bedroom in their own house. Although it didn't stop Lily from loving it, and it was more than secure for holding the Order's mission details and operation files.

Lily was one of the very few trusted people that had access to those files and that was most likely the reason for this ambush in the first place, maybe they hadn't come for his son as Severus originally thought and they just needed the files.

Hagrid thwarted his theories by stepping of their room with a stack of parchment hustled in his arms.

"I go' the' all." The giant murmured sadly and Severus nodded.

Severus only paused enough to take Harry's diaper bag and a few of his toys before they took off the house, with Lily in Hagrid's arms, and Harry buried inside Severus's outer robes, only exposed enough to breath properly and not catch sight of his mother.

As soon as they reached Godric's Hollow graveyard, both men apparated without sparing a glance back at the dark mark, and what it stood for. The muggle repelling charm would wear off any moment now and the place would be swarming with neighbors, before order members could arrive, Severus thought as his feet touched the ground.

He ignored Harry's discomfort from the apparation and quickly walked ahead of Hagrid, eager to talk with Albus already.

His wife was /dead/. His son was /traumatized/, and Severus didn't even know why.

"Chocolate Frog." Hagrid croaked out from behind and Severus rushed up the stairs, his heart beating as if it was trying to escape his chest.

Dumbledore's circular and previously vacant office was now filled with three other people aside from the headmaster himself; James Potter, and his partner Sirius Black were seated in the comfy chairs facing the headmaster whilst their werewolf best friend stood next to the fireplace. Six pair of red-rimmed eyes fell upon Severus as he entered.

Severus's eyes shadowed as he caught the men looking and he stared directly at the old man who was staring out of his window.

"What are they doing here?" he asked tiredly, his arms tightening around his sniffling son.

Albus unclasped his hands from his back and avoided his gaze. "I'm so sorry Severus," the old man muttered sadly.

The potion master could hardly contain his growl. "Sorry?" he hissed in disdain. "My wife is dead. You promised protection and she's dead."

Hagrid stood not far behind them and the potion master threw him a hateful glare. "Take her body to the infirmary Hagrid." Remus interjected softly, guiding the giant to the fireplace. Severus turned his body away and hunched over Harry's head, blocking his view.

He would grieve alone later, right now; he needed to be strong for his child.

"How did she die?" James Potter asked, mournfully watching his friend's body disappear in green flames.

"How do you think?" Severus spat.

Black's face, hardened at the potion master and he gripped James's hand tightly with both hands.

"How did you know Severus?" Albus inquired quietly, gesturing at a chair. Severus wanted to sag against the hard wooden chair so bad, but paced forward mostly for his son's sake instead. Harry was still whimpering after an hour of constant agony and Snape feared for his son's health.

"My forearm." It was strangely numb with no sign of pain now, the man thought. "He was happy, you were gone, and I was excluded from the last meeting… I got there too late."

"We found out mere minutes before you did. The spell was breached but we couldn't figure out which safe house was under attack. We chose the Longbottoms and we are so sorry Severus."

"They have Peter in custody now. We're so sorry Severus; we thought… we never would have thought that Peter could ever…" Remus shook his head, unable to continue.

"The details of the attack are hazy my boy, but we'll have one of the members come with the information in a few hours. I have already heard the rumors. I need you to roll your sleeve up."

Snape's heart sank as Remus held his hands out for Harry. The potion master pointedly ignored the offer, and stared at the headmaster with confusion.

"What rumors, Albus?"

"I cannot know for sure before our informant arrives Severus." the old man replied.

"Roll up your sleeve my boy." Black and Potter exchanged an unsure glance while Remus stared fixedly at Harry's forehead with a frown.

His son obediently settled on his lap, with the potion master supporting him with one arm and rolling up his sleeve with the other, he rolled up a bit of fabric and frowned when his skin didn't fade into black.

He rolled it up further and then noticed the faint outline of his dark mark in utter shock.

"What does this mean?" he asked faintly, feeling black spots blur his vision. His hold tightened on his child.

Albus stayed silent for a long time, while Black and Lupin spoke in hushed tones near the seats. James's eyes was solely set on Harry, darting back and forth between his unblemished forearm and his son behind his gold-rimmed glasses.

"He's not dead, Severus. We are sure of that. However, there seems to be an uprising among Death Eater ranks. I think," the old man stared at James and then back at him. "That the dark lord is gone. At least temporarily, he was the one to ambush Harry and Lily, Severus. There is simply no other explanation."

Severus's body tensed and his breath hitched. "Harry wasn't attacked. He was in his nursery." Voldemort wouldn't have let a jammed door stand in his way if he was really that determined to kill his son.

"He's injured," Remus, pointed out with concern, approaching the child with his wand. "I could take a look…" his son swung himself back into Severus's arms as he saw the wand in Lupin's hands, crying.

"Get away from him," Surprisingly; it's not Snape who said that but James Potter, holding his hand out in warning to his friend, while his gaze was intently on the child.

Lupin quickly pocketed his wand and backed away, whilst Sirius watched the interaction with confusion.

"James…" he muttered, looking at his partner.

"It's a curse scar, Sirius." The young man told his partner. "I see the dark halo around his head. He was attacked Snape." He said the last part to his supposed enemy, his eyes filled with pity.

"There was no one in the room with my son, Potter." Severus gritted out.

Potter didn't flinch, shaking his head. "I see it," he insisted. "The scar on his face, whatever it is, is cursed." Harry whimpered as he felt all of the eyes on him, he hid his face in Snape's shirt and whimpered again.

The others frowned sadly at the child's heartbreaking state, Albus eventually turned to face the messy haired man. "Are you sure James?"

Potter pushed his glasses up his nose with his middle finger. "I'm always sure when it comes to these things." He said, sitting on his chair. "Just as I'm sure that, the dark mark on Severus's forearm is subdued, but not gone. We need to have that scar examined."

"He's afraid of wands; I don't have access to my potions." Severus apprehensively explained to the headmaster.

"That could be taken care of, my boy. Tipsy?"

"Headmaster sir?"

"Fetch a mild calming draught from Professor Slughorn's labs please. We will fix the dosage here."

"Does I let Professor Slughorn sir, know sir?" the uneasy elf asked, wringing the hem of its towel with gnarled fingers.

The headmaster smiled kindly at the house elf and shook his head. "No, I don't believe that is necessary,"

The house elf disappeared without a sound and the office fell into a grim silence. Severus felt Harry squirming in his arms, whining quietly. He knew that the child was hungry and the mere thought of Harry not daring to tell him that, sent his mind in downward spirals.

Did he even pack a bottle in the bag? Severus thought, inwardly panicking. What if he couldn't find a bottle? He couldn't just let the child go hungry, and Lily wasn't here and there was no milk and Lily was dead, and the fussing was getting worse…

In full panicking mode, the young father hastily took out the diaper bag, enlarged it with a quick wave of his wand and started rummaging in hopes to find a bottle, as Harry's sniveling got more pronounced.

Suddenly a waving hand shot in his vision and Severus straightened himself.

"Are you alright there Snape?" Lupin asked cautiously, one of his hands hovering behind Harry in case Severus /dropped/ the child.

Narrowing his eyes in anger, the potion protégé wrapped both arms around his son. "Yes, Lupin." he replied coldly. "Your help is not required."

The man held out a vial in front of him and Snape wrenched it from his hand with a malicious glare.

He continued his search for the bottle with more decorum when he felt the others closely ogle him and Harry. No one spoke, no one dared to break the fragile ribbon of silence that swirled and floated in the office in fears of unleashing the great elephant in the room. Severus was secretly glad, between everything that had happened and had yet to take place, he was only a whisper away from mental breakdown.

He almost cried in relief when his hand closed around one of Harry's spare bottles. The blue bottle sloshed as he drew it out of the bag, and Severus was yet again alleviated to find it filled with milk. He didn't think he could maintain himself if this went wrong too.

After hastily reheating the bottle with his wand and adding the mild calming draught to the mix, Severus tried to detach Harry's face from his shirt, feeling self-conscious feeding the child with four other people in the room.

Harry blatantly refused the bottle, and threw a teary-eyed stare at his father in betrayal before burying his face back in the blasted shirt.

"Come on, please." He nudged the bottle into Harry's hands and then brought it to his mouth, but the child refused every time.

Severus knew his son was hungry, he could physically feel Harry's hunger from the way his son slouched his body on Severus's but had no idea why the baby wasn't eating.

"The snitch is here." Albus informed the group solemnly, seconds before the floo flared and a young man stepped out.

He was covered in black from head to toe, so much so that even Severus was a little taken back. Even his face was covered; his eyes were glamoured and seemed to be a different color every time someone attempted to look closely.

Albus nodded at the young man, and he stepped forward, handing him a small piece of parchment. Harry peered at the mysterious man, or woman (Severus couldn't really tell), he obediently took the bottle this time when Severus offered.

The old man's eyes skimmed over the words hastily written on the parchment. "Are you sure?"

The snitch needn't nod; Sirius stood and strode over to Albus's side, reading over the old man's shoulder with a blank face.

"This isn't good news Albus." Black murmured, scratching at his grazed jaw, he huffed and shared another glance with his partner across the room.

"Indeed it isn't."

Albus looked up at the snitch. "Thank you, you are allowed to leave now." The snitch nodded his farewell and disappeared in the flames.

"What does it say?" Severus asked. He titled the bottle as the urge to draw Harry closer amplified. An earth-rattling shiver went down his spine as Sirius shook his head and Albus sighed. James Potter drew to the edge of his seat, nervously eyeing the shift of magic crackling in the air and Remus's shoulders hunched defensively.

"There was a coup d'état within the death eaters over leadership." The headmaster heavily announced, putting his face in his hands. "Lucius won."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; I'm terribly sorry for the delay, my computer is still lagging a bit. (nasty virus)**

 **Warnings for; Explicit language, Depictions of violence (only mentioned), War, Misery and Heartbreak**

 ***Just to make something clear; there is NO character bashing in this story, not even in the slightest. I just imagined how each character( based on their personalities) would act if put in a certain situation. The first side-effect of war is fear, and people do strange things when they're afraid and trying to save themselves and their loved ones.**

 **The words/phrases that were specifically mentioned in this chapter for the fic fest are;**  
 **_Mutt**  
 **_Darkness**  
 **_It felt like the end of the world**  
 **_The sun does not rise and set with you**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

It felt like the end of the world.

Every puzzle piece that once formed his life was blown out of proportion, each were vaporized and destroyed, just in a matter of hours. His lovely wife and only friend in the world was dead, his son was somehow cursed and Lucius-of all people-had managed to take over the ranks. Things really could not get any worse than this.

He knew Lucius since they were all but children; he was two years ahead of Severus, a high and all mighty pureblood. Lucius, even at the tender age of thirteen, lived up to his family's name with a grace that even baffled the staff. He was cruel beyond measurement, even heartless sometimes. Disdain, superiority and arrogance dribbled down from the very way he held himself at all times.

Those mannerisms and the fact that everyone did very little to restrain the Slytherin Prince, fascinated Severus to no end, and Lucius for his part, seemed overly glad to play around with an eleven year old and manipulate him to his own needs.

The aristocrat Prince held a very personal grudge against other houses and muggleborns that attended the school. Severus remembered a time when the boy managed to convince his goons and younger naïve students to cruelly prank and bully those of 'lower' statue and then blackmail them to earn favors.

It was no surprise when Severus heard the rumors of Lucius finally joining the ranks flying around mere days before his graduation. Those rumors soon became old news when Severus was a seventh year and in 'The Assessment' himself.

The Dark Lord didn't just recruit /anyone/ and didn't donate dark marks to his liking; lower ranked death eaters often took over those who wanted to join and placed them in The Assessment. To see if they had it in them to kill, torture and serve their lord to the best of their abilities.

Those who made it and got the mark but then wanted out, were neatly plucked out of their positions and quietly killed, those who didn't make the cut, were also somehow dealt with and the rest were scavenging to yank themselves up in their lord's good graces.

Lucius, due to his popularity, charm and place in the wizarding world, quickly groomed himself into the higher ranks whilst Severus was still in school. When the time finally arrived Lucius was the one, who took over Severus's assessment.

Severus was half done with the process, soon after graduating Hogwarts, when suddenly terror and qualm gripped his heart…Lily had returned to him, with apologies and a love confession.

After two years of silence, the girl of his dreams floated back into his life again and everything fell into perspective.

They didn't tell anyone that they were a couple; Severus couldn't bear the thought of her ever getting hurt for his foolishness.

His best friend was suddenly his lover, she wanted him, and Severus had never felt like he could be happier with her in his life, the way he desired it to be from the start.

It was too late to get out of the process. Severus didn't want anyone hurting the girl he dearly loved and adored, and so he deliberately bailed on each and every one of their 'tests'. Alas, Lucius was adamant that Severus had it in him and sent him up to receive the mark with flying colors instead of 'taking care of him'.

Lily was devastated.

"Severus, you cannot do this!" she was trying her hardest to maintain posture and not start crying. Lily almost never cried, it just wasn't like her to break down and let her tears take command, but Severus did. Severus wept in her arms that night after he got back to their house with the dark mark.  
She, along with the marauders were newly joined order members at the time, and Lily did not hesitate to take him to Dumbledore after he was coherent enough to talk. She hauled him up, dragged him into the man's office, and fell to her knees.

She /begged/ him to find a solution, but no matter what, the old man could only come up with one suggestion.

"You already have the mark Severus," the man declared sadly. "I know it seems cruel, but we have to make the best of it."

Now, Severus wished that he hadn't agreed and was dead instead.

He knew exactly what the news meant; Lucius taking over the ranks, meant that war wasn't even slightly close to the end. Severus couldn't stay and grieve, he couldn't return to his mother's mansion. He couldn't keep Harry single handedly.

"Severus."

His breath hitched in his throat. "I cannot. Not anymore Albus, Harry needs me, Lily is dead. I cannot just…"

Albus's knowing eyes sadly lingered on Severus's shaking hand that was supporting the bottle.

"You are not abandoning him Severus," he said, his eyes landing on James's and Sirius's shadowed eyes and hung heads. Snape immediately felt a stab of betrayal. They knew of the possibility, he realized numbly. That's why they were there. They were going to take his son.

Lily's son.

"Absolutely not." the man gritted out, barely containing his rage. Harry went stiff in his arms immediately as the bottle started shaking along his father's hand. The last droplets of milk gathering and dripping down his chin.

Remus put his hands up to assuage the wild man. "Severus…"

"Shut up wolf!" he turned his face back to the headmaster.

He slowly got to his feet and haughtily walked over to the headmaster, the baby whimpering quietly in his arms. "You want me to leave my child," he hissed, reeling. "With the two people who tormented me all my life?" he gritted out the rest, feeling the anger and irrationality pump through his veins. "Albus you are out of your /mind/ if you think that I'll agree to this."

Dumbledore looked thoroughly disturbed, but adamant on his decision. As if it was his to make, the potion protégé fumed.

"Severus, you cannot keep your position as a double agent and still keep Harry." The old man argued back. "Lily… she won't be here to take care of the child."

The grieving man didn't hesitate. "Then I won't." he snarled. "I won't work for you anymore."

"My boy please…" Harry gave out a small cry, Snape paused. Cradling the child back to his chest, and looking into his green emerald eyes. Lily's eyes. He grounded his jaw with a sharp snap.

"Have you ever considered that you ask too much from me?" he seethed quietly. "That you take too much for granted?" he looked up at the headmaster.

"Severus-"

The man didn't listen to the pleas and shook his head. "Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore?"

"You have no other choice." Albus countered back sternly, pointedly looking at his arms.

Severus felt an inevitable chill tingle down his spine at the stare. He felt the hatred and discrimination the way he felt the hot scorching air around the office. Potter and Black hung awkwardly in the back and Lupin had his back turned to all of them and was facing the fireplace.

He came to the realization as the room grew cold with the lack of sympathy, and he was singled out in the middle of the office. He deserved no pity, he was a death eater. And he had a job. No one was willing to defend him if it meant losing another valuable informant. An asset.

The only person who remotely cared about his opinions was lying cold, unmoving and quite dead in the infirmary.

He tried to redeem himself, to ignore the remaining stains and the filth of his own mistakes. He got married, had a child whom he loved more than life itself, but /they/ didn't care. They only cared that he got back to his job while someone took care of /the kid/.

Severus knew with certainty that if Harry hadn't been involved in the dark lord's demise, Albus wouldn't have even cared this much. They would have tossed him in an orphanage and forced Severus back to his post.

He sunk down in a chair.

James Potter was the first to break the tense silence. "Snape," he called, taking a step towards them. "If it makes any difference, we will raise… Harry, as if he's our own," he nodded at his partner and then back at the child in his enemy's arms. "He's Lily's son, Lily was one of my best friends and-"

Severus narrowed his onyx black eyes, his mouth working faster than his reeling mind. "And I'm supposed to believe whatever that comes out of your trap Potter? Hmm?" he sneered, tightening his hold on Harry. "Not over your dead corpse." Potter scowled, hazel eyes narrowing behind his gold rimmed glasses.

It wasn't that action that frightened his baby, but the intimidating stance Potter's partner took as he charged ahead at Snape and Harry in a rapid, threatening pace.

Harry wailed in fear as Black's ugly face screwed in a scowl, his body towering over their bodies, his face, merely inches away from Severus's. "Talk to him like that again Snape and we'll see who ends up dead next!" Harry wailed louder, screeching and squeezing his eyes shut at the mean man.

Several things happened at once; James strode to his partner and seized him by his forearm as Lupin called both his friends out in alarm. Snape drew out his wand as he supported the howling baby in one arm and Dumbledore looked over the scene while shaking his head.

"Sirius stop this!" Potter seethed in Black's ear as he pulled him away from the chair and towards the fireplace, next to the werewolf's stiff posture.  
He heard Lupin also chastising the man. "What the hell Padfoot?! He's a baby!"

He rocked the weeping child in his arms, lightly bouncing him to ease the cries. Harry hid his face in his father's robes once again, his cries muffled by the thick black fabric. Severus glared at the headmaster over the baby. His heart clenching in his chest.

"You're entrusting my one year old to that man?" he asked serenely, keeping his face stoic and the disgust at bay. Dumbledore remained silent. Darkness loomed over the muteness and Severus couldn't have been more sickened.

Black struggled In Potter's strong hold with a snarl. "You insulted my..."

"Your what, Black?" the young man whipped his head back to the mutt. "Is he your husband? Your boyfriend? You can't even own it up to him enough to marry him. So stop the theatrics."

"Severus that's enough." Albus snapped gravely.

"You cannot force me."

"But Lucius can. Severus you know better than anyone, what this all really means. Lucius taking over Voldemort's place whether temporarily or not is no small feat."

"He would kill you without a second thought if he finds out about your true identity. The death eaters are turbulent now, there is going to be a massacre for sure. You needn't be part of that." Severus rolled his eyes. Of course, the old man cared about his life.

"I would prefer to not work for you, if doing so costs me my son."

"And Harry would prefer it if you didn't die. You cannot afford to be selfish now, my boy. We are still at war."

Severus let out a breathy laugh bitterly. "So now raising my own son is deemed selfish? The child is mine." He breathed in again. "This is the only thing I have left to live for, what my /dead/ wife left me. You cannot take that away from me too."

The man had already taken too much from him, too many people, too many privileges that others had with no fear of undesirable consequences. Severus knew he was being irrational, childish. He knew it all, but he wanted this to end.

He just wanted things to end.

"If he finds out that Harry is alive and that you are the father, he would kill you for sure." Albus's tone was comforting. Much to Severus's infuriation.  
Yes, the young grieving man, already knew that. He knew that no one could know, he knew he couldn't protect Harry by himself.  
His mentor continued. "For now, the only people that are aware of what really took place are the people in this office and a few trusted order members."

Hagrid, Poppy, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Potter, Black, Lupin and Alice Longbottom. Not a long list by any means. Those were the /only/ people who knew of their marriage and of Harry's true parentage. Not even McGonagall knew that he was married to Lily or that he was the father of her child.

"They could be sworn to secrecy." Albus assures Severus. "James and Sirius would take Harry in, and Lily would be honored as the single mother everyone assumed she was. This can be easily fixed Severus."

Fixed? The man fumed. His life wasn't something to /fix/. Or brush under the rug. Harry will /not/ be fixed.

Severus stood again, mindful of the baby in his arms and hoping that he could land a decent punch with one arm while holding a baby with the other. He tapped his boots on the ground and stared at his mentor dead in the eyes.

"Except there's nothing to fix. My son isn't an object." He spat out. "He was orphaned tonight and I'm not robbing him of what he has left only to replace it with a spare." He said, wildly waving a hand at the said couple. "I don't think Potter and Black could ever care for him or love him as I do."  
Black almost sent him off to his demise when he was sixteen. He could've /died/ that night, and Lupin would have torn him to shreds if Potter hadn't arrived in time. He couldn't just leave his child with a person like that. What if they hurt him?

"He's my son and they loath the very sight of me." He continued before anyone could make an argument. "The feeling is established and mutual Dumbledore. I do not trust /these/ people with Harry."

From the other side of the office, Sirius Black let out an undignified chortle. His eyes wild in panic and hatred that was directed at Harry and Severus both. "That's rich coming from you! You should be flattered we're willing to take your brat in." James squeezed his arm in warning but the man didn't yield. Sirius yanked his arm away from James's and took a step towards the young father.

"We wouldn't have put our lives in danger for him even if you begged on your knees Snivellus," the black haired man taunted. "This is just a favor for Evans. In fact, you're lucky we even considered the option. that child is literally on a death list."

James Potter threw an unimpressed glare at Black and shook his head as the other man opened his mouth again. "Sirius stop it! He's wrong Snape; we would have taken Harry in without question. We still do. We owe it to Lily and we care about him."

He didn't turn to face the couple. "You have wronged me Albus. For all these years, I won't let you wrong my son too. I'm leaving."

"Let me owe you one more thing Severus. Please." He gave Severus a beseeching look. "We both know Harry is endangered-"

The younger man whirled in a flash, Harry whimpered but didn't start crying as Severus half expected. His eyes narrowed at the utter /audacity/ of the old man. "Over a bunch of rubbish, a drunken /Witch/ who couldn't tell her tail from her absurd glasses spewed out!" he yelled.

"You're the one who made a big deal out of this! The one who caused all of this to happen!"

That idiotic /ghost story/ that started all of this mess. Sybill Trelawney was the reason his wife was dead and his son was right spot on a target and Albus was even guiltier for interviewing her in the first place. It was Dumbledore who spread the word amongst the rank until it got the dark lord interested.

It was playing with fire, Severus warned the old man repeatedly. But Albus assured him, the situation was under control, the Longbottoms had been transferred to a safe place and Lily and Harry would be safe in their respective safe house.

"Voldemort vehemently believed in the Prophesy. I did not force him to."

"You put it in his head. /Your/ people spread the word Albus." He argued back futilely, it was all said and done. His Slytherin mind knew that there was no point in blaming the old man anymore.

"He didn't know Lily was married to you." Albus disagreed defensively.

"For the sake of technicality, he shouldn't have even thought twice about which boy he shall choose. That's why we were so focused on the Longbottoms, Severus. To the world, Harry was just an ordinary boy and Lily an admirable single mother."

"Well he isn't now. The cat is out of the bag! Everyone's gonna find out about my son /supposedly/ defeating the dark lord."

"But they wouldn't know who the father is." Albus pointed out unhelpfully. He felt the need to continue when Severus didn't immediately answer.  
"James, Sirius and I have talked extensively over the matter."

The said couple squirmed uncomfortably under the other man's murderous gaze. Well, at least one of them did, Black stared back defiantly. "They were both overjoyed and very agreeable." Severus let the old man's voice wash over him. Harry sensed his distress and buried his head back into his neck, calming the simmering man.

Overjoyed? Severus thought indignantly. Before he could stop himself, his mouth opened. "Overjoyed that my wife is dead or overjoyed over the fact that they get to take my son away…"

"We're all tired and the tension is high." He threw a hateful glare at the wolf as he interrupted him, the man blessedly ignored the taunt. "Let's all just calm down, please."

James shook his head. "We cannot sleep on this. Lucius could call on the death eaters any minute now."

"I'm not going then."

"Then you will turn up dead in less than a week. Then the kid would die as well. You don't owe this to yourself Snape. You owe this to the kid. You're the one who makes decisions for him. I think he would prefer living over other undesirable outcomes."

James pursed his lips and squeezed his partner's shoulder just a bit /too/ hard. He tried to soften the blow with a hasty wave of his hand.  
"And you wouldn't be excluded from his life at all." He tried to sound convincing. "It wouldn't be public knowledge and Harry might not know but… you would still be there."

Severus had had enough of these people and their petty arguments. He needed to /leave/.

"You talked them into this Headmaster. But you cannot talk me into it."

In one quick move, he swept a sniffling Harry up his hip and in his arms before striding to the door; none of the others stopped him from almost running out of the office and down the spiral staircase.

Severus was breathing hard; his arms were impossibly tense around his child as if someone might snatch the baby away if he slackened his hold.  
The young grieving man knew that there was nowhere for him to go without Dumbledore knowing and eventually finding him, he also knew that his options were nonexistent. It wasn't as if he could just leave the country or hide in a hole like a coward. Death eaters had an uncanny ability to sniff out their own kind and Dumbledore was a persistent old man.

Feeling overwhelmed and out of sorts, the potion protégé held Harry tight and quickly started tramping down the hallway and to the third floor.

"Mama?" Harry suddenly asked as they stepped out of the moving staircase. Severus paused briefly in shock and then figured his son's guess must have been accidental.

"Yes baby, we're going to see Mommy." He muttered.

He needed to have Harry's forehead looked at and examined. The dried blood must have been causing some of the discomfort, and his child might be in pain as well. The calming draught seemed to be helping his son so far but Severus knew that an inevitable tantrum wasn't far away.

"Does your forehead hurt Harry?" he asked the baby, looking into his eyes as he stood only a few feet away from the infirmary's doors.

Harry crammed his thumb in his mouth and just looked at his father. Severus clicked his tongue, half-tempted to get Harry's thumb out of his mouth and half relieved to see his son taking on his old habits.

Severus figured that he must have left the pacifier back in the crib.

"Use your words Harry. Does your forehead hurt?" after receiving another blank stare, the father sighed and walked to the infirmary, momentarily listening to see if the place was empty or not. He knew that Hagrid must have left to give the files to Moody by now.

He entered when he heard no sound, quietly alleviated at Poppy's absence. He deserved some privacy with his wife and son.

The lights were out, the beds were all empty, rowed in a neat line along the walls, with deft, straight white sheets, and empty vases on each night stand. Far at the corner of the infirmary was a curtained section, which Severus assumed was where his wife's body was.

He didn't call for Poppy and trailed to the curtained bed. He slipped past the pristine white drapes.

Lily's beautiful red locks surrendered her face like an halo, a familiar image to Severus who was used to waking up next to his wife either looking like a fluffy lion or having some of her hair in his mouth. The only indication that Lily was not blissfully napping now was her stiff posture and unmoving chest.

His chest seized in agony as he forced himself to walk forward, with Harry thrashing in his arms and reaching out to his mom with grabby hands. Severus felt awful, but also exhausted. He amenably sat on the bed and held his son closer to her body.

Her face was unblemished, with the exception of her bruised chin, probably after being hit with the killing curse and as the result of falling face first into the ground. Severus tenderly reached out a thumb and caressed the purple welt.

"Mama!" Harry didn't cease lashing in his arms.

Slowly he reached out and uncrossed Lily's arms from her chest, settling them on her sides, he soothed Harry, hushing the restless baby before lowering the child on his mother's motionless chest.

Keeping a careful hand on the one year olds back, he watched sadly, as Harry went still and wrapped his arm around his mother's body, with his thumb still in his mouth. The boy seemed too tired to care about the coldness of her skin or her non-beating heart. He didn't exactly look thrilled, but at least he wasn't restless anymore.

The image was heartbreaking, Severus couldn't stop blinking in order to stop the inevitable flow of tears from streaming down his face. He had never cried this much in his lifetime as he was bawling his eyes out now, and it was only understandable. He lost his life tonight.

"I have to do it Lily. Don't I?" he muttered.

His wife remained mute. "I have no one else now. If I keep him, he will die… if the death eaters find our son…"

His spouse's eyes still remained close and her chest was still unmoving but Severus smiled. Even in death, the woman somehow managed to win every argument.

"I promise I won't ever leave him." He promised, bringing his hand from Harry's back to smooth her shiny hair. Harry stayed blissfully unaware of the one-sided conversation.

He fished out his wand and summoned a parchment, slickly drew out a pen from his inner robes and got writing. If he was going to leave his son with Potter and Black he might as well set the right conditions.

He wrote anything he could think of, from Harry's favorite lullaby to his bathing schedule. He doted down each task in a short detailed scribble. He would provide a better list later, he just needed something to get those two through the first few nights.

He dropped the pen, folded the parchment and leant back in his seat.

"Should you be doing that?" Black's voice cut through the silence from somewhere behind him.

Severus didn't flinch. "It's none of your business."

Harry stayed snuggled with Lily and paid no attention to the other man coming behind his father.

"The image looks a bit disturbing." The man commented nonchalantly, dragging a hand to rub his neck. Severus moved his gaze to the flickering candles hovering next to the bed rails.

"And currently within my rights," he told the man as the silence dragged on. "He has the right to have some closure."

Harry wasn't going to get another chance to ever see Lily like this again. Granted, the child would barely remember it a few years from now on, but his son obviously needed the closure now. He wasn't going to have Severus anymore in less than a few hours, and Snape wasn't sure if he wanted to think about his son visiting his mother's grave later on as he got older.

His musings were disrupted by Black's loud and cringe worthy yawn, followed by the sound of a metal chair screeching against the white tiles. The man dragged the uncomfortable looking chair to the other side of the bed and stretched his hands.  
"So you're thinking about it." He said.

Severus's hand rubbed the folded parchment as he glared at his insufferable rival. "Not without conditions in place," he thrust the folded parchment on the man, over Harry's body. His scowl deepened. Sirius's chair skidded against the ground again as he leaned in to take the parchment. "And would you please keep quiet? He's exhausted." He nodded at his pouting son.

Sirius Black hummed and then nodded quickly. "Sure, sorry."

"What is this?"

Severus reclined his head. "His lullaby, if he got fussy, and his napping schedule. I don't want his routine to be disrupted. He should take a bath every other day and he loves applesauce. I want to visit him at least once a month." There, Severus thought. He kept it short and simple. He wanted to see his son every month even though the boy didn't know he was his father.

The other man mulled his lips thoughtfully, eyes skimming over the list with wariness. "I'll let James know." Black said eventually, refolding the parchment.

They both seat in a companionable silence. "I'm sorry by the way." Black broke the silence, his voice startling the small child.

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing painfully against his throat. "James was right, I was being an idiot again."

Severus knew why. He knew all too painfully, now that he was gazing at his own beloved, lying motionless in front of him. "You think he might get hurt by taking Harry in."

It didn't make an excuse for scaring his baby, and yelling as if he was trying to raise demons from the depths of hell. But Severus understood, in a sick twisted way. He understood the urgency, the utter terror the other man must have felt when his partner was threatened.

"I'm not denying that Snape…" Black admitted, ducking his head. "This is a war. I love him too much to let him die." He trailed off and swallowed again. Black sighed audibly, dropping his elbows on his knees before burying his face into his hands.

"This is a war. People die." Snape countered, not unkindly. He stared at his own wife, marveling the freckles on her arms and her perfect plump lips. The ones he would never get to kiss again.

"But he shouldn't." Sirius replied at once. "Not before we get our happy ending. His gift…'seeing magic', it makes him special, he's already a target. If they knew we're housing your son too…"

The candle flickered and his son dozed off again, his heavy eyes closing and his body snuggled closer to /her/ body. Severus felt his own eyes weight down, and his throat dry up.

"You're not being forced into it."

"Of course not." Black pretended to agree with the Slytherin. Both knew there was no other way.

Padfoot leaned back in the chair, and wrung his fingers. He didn't meet Severus's adamant gaze and looked over Harry's messy haired head. "You know… this is the only way for us to ever get a child." The man admitted bashfully.

He wasn't wrong, Severus supposed. Being in a same-sex relationship was scandalous enough on its own, not only it was deemed illegal and was almost never recognized, but people out right, had the right to turn them in for it. The laws were never clear in the field, but Severus knew that being a werewolf was a vast improvement to being gay in the wizarding world.

Seeing as they didn't have the right to get married, adopting or getting a child in any way was also deemed illegal by the ministry. They had the right to snatch the children away from their parents at any given chance if reported.

Which would have been a cause for concern hadn't this been Potter and Black. The most problematic issue they would ever encounter was the hush money they would have to pay from time to time, and seeing as Lily's name was filling in as Harry's mother, Severus doubted it would even come to that.

"The circumstances are grim and ugly, but he wants it. We never talked about kids before, it was quite pointless, and I know he feels bad about being happy about this." He met Severus's eyes, his expression oddly vulnerable and devoid of the wildness the other man proudly carries.

"He hides it well, but he is happy."

"Why are you telling me this?" Severus asked.

Black shrugged, straightening his posture immediately. "To assure you I guess. The kid is not going to get neglected or anything. We're not monsters."  
"She was a good woman." He nodded his chin at Lily. "A good friend. A bit too feisty for her own good, but…"

"What are you trying to say?" Snape repeated, feeling the frustration build up in his chest.

Black threw his hands up with a groan. "I don't know… Condolences I guess. I feel bad just staring at her and saying nothing."

"I know it doesn't help but… your son has her eyes. That's a nice relic."

As if on cue, Harry's eyes fluttered open and he grinned lazily at his father looking down at him. Severus smiled back weakly, his hand rubbing the child's back.

"You're going to obliviate him, aren't you?"

They had to. It was too dangerous for Harry to even have the faintest of memories of all this. Of his life with is real, biological parents. If Voldemort was really out there, then Severus shuddered to know the kind of future his son was going to grow up in.

"It's not in our hands, and Albus said we need to consult a healer first, your son is just a one year old and he most likely has some sort of brain trauma." Black dared to make the slightest touch, and gently stroked the back of Harry's head only for a moment. "He'll probably choose Poppy. She's waiting for you to finish."

Harry complained at the touch with a whimper and Black snorted. The man groaned as his neck cracked. He fetched out his wand and pointed it at the table. After a quick muttered spell, two glass shots and a bottle appeared. Black moaned with relief and luge dot get the bottle of scotch.

"Want some?" he held it towards Snape as he filled his own glass to the brim. Severus declined, crossing his arms over his chest carefully. He was always wary of alcohol. As a double agent and a victim of abuse himself (his father was an alcoholic), the liquid posed nothing but inconvenience for him.

He did fool around with firewhisky when he was younger, but his early days as a death eater taught him that drinking while spying was not a good idea. It made occluding a very tiring task and muddled his thoughts, definitely not the best combination in order to survive.

"Lucius is going to call for a meeting soon, so no, not if I want to keep my head intact on my shoulders." He barked at the grinning man. Sirius gulped in one mouthful after the other with that smug wolfish grin adorning his face.

"Still trying to kill me, mutt?"

Black grimaced, twirling his glass in his hand. "Never again Snivellus." He vowed. "Not after hurting Remus like that." He drowned the last mouthful, running a hand through his shaggy hair.

"I'll just hate your guts until the day I die."

Severus allowed an amused smirk. "I will drink to that."

His eyes fell back on his family and dark shadows were casted over his eyes. "Could you leave us?" he asked the other man, but didn't lift his gaze to see Black's expression.

Sirius stood, taking the bottle in his other hand. He gestured at Harry with his empty glass.

"Do you want me to take the…" he cut himself off. "Uh…Harold?"

"No."

"Poppy and I will be in her office, Snape." He walked back to the curtains. "I'm really sorry about your wife and son." He said over his shoulder, glancing quickly at the graceful woman on the bed before hanging his head. "James sincerely is, and I would be too, given time."

"I don't need your pity." Severus growled while leaning in to pick Harry up.

"The sun doesn't rise and set with you. You're a grown ass man raised in a war, of course you don't." the sound of the bottle knocking clumsily on glass made him sneer. "That kid needs it." Sirius finished.

Severus's hand left Harry's and he twisted his waist to look at the man with disgust. "That kid is going to call you his /father/. The least you can do is calling him by his given name."

"I'm working on it, Snape." The other man vowed, patting the folded parchment in his pockets as he slipped past the curtains. A glass of scotch still nestled in his hand.

**  
On Black's unspoken request-Dumbledore's direct orders to the man, undoubtedly- the matron hadn't been informed of the procedure she was about to perform on Harold whilst she was examining the cursed scar on his forehead.

The older woman deftly examined the scar and cleaned the blood with the wand she kept hidden in her long healer's robes. All too much aware of the baby's intense green eyes ogling her with wariness.

"It's a curse scar." She confirmed sadly. "Potter was right. I cannot verify the origins, but the curse-whatever it was- had been partially blocked. It's relatively harmless."

Black rubbed his chin again. It's a nervous habit, Severus realized as he saw the repeated act and then deleted the useless information immediately.  
"Is there any way to know which curse was used?" Black asked, turning his body to face the matron.

The woman shrugged. "There isn't a wide variety to choose from, or he most likely would have been…" she trailed off meaningfully.

"It was harmless enough or rather not strong enough that partial exposure didn't do much damage. You said he was in his nursery when it happened." She looked at Severus. "Could it be that an unforgiveable was about to be performed on your son and Lily got in the way? The scar might have been caused as a backlash occurring after the curse."

Severus looked at her for a few moments, trying to comprehend the words that were coming out of her mouth. He imagined his wife hurriedly running up the stairs with a crying Harry in her arms, she dashed into the nursery, put him in the crib and then ran out to lock the door. Severus frowned, no, the door wasn't locked, and she didn't have her wand, so she didn't get there in time. She must have been blocking the doorframe with her body when it happened.

He closed his eyes, practically /seeing/ the imaginary scene take place before his eyelids. The dark lord's taller and terrifying presence before his lean wife, with her being the only blockage between him and the innocent, crying baby in the room.

He pushed the crashing rush of overwhelming emotions in a wooden box and shoved them to the furthest corner of his mind. Occlumency was a must in that instance, he realized.

"She could have been." He said slowly. "I found her body outside the nursery."

Poppy hung her head in grief. Sirius Black cleared his throat, his respect for the unmoving woman lying on the bed rising considerably.

They floo-ed back to the office one at the time, with grim faces and a twist in their guts. The office looked the same as before, with the exception of Lupin's sudden absence. Potter swallowed thickly upon seeing the group, and fixed his glasses with twitching fingers.

Sirius Black was by his side in a blink, his eyes questioning their friend's absence. James shook his head.

"His furry little problem. Tonight wasn't a good one." The man muttered, his hazel eyes narrowed as he eyeballed the baby that was about to be his in a few minutes.

Severus kept his stoic demeanor as he settled in his seat, and Albus immediately started talking to Poppy and explaining 'the situation'.  
That was fifteen minutes ago. Poppy hadn't spoken since.

The air around the office was insanely strained, Lupin was gone, and the only people left in the room were imposed to a resigned silence. Severus felt the calming draught gradually take effect on his child, with the small baby languidly grabbing at his robes with closed eyes and mouthing incoherent words.

Poppy Pomfrey looked down right scandalized, her widened eyes kept shifting between the stoic father and his one year old to the muttering couple on the other side of the room with astonishment.

She shook her head again. Severus could see that she couldn't quite grasp the urgency in their request. His heart fluttered. "I have never performed such a task on a child before." The woman said faintly in a string of hushed whispered words.

Albus Dumbledore regarded the older woman with sympathy. "Then you must understand the urgency Poppy."

Poppy scowled at the headmaster. "Obliviate is such a powerful spell Albus! Even grown men never recover from the aftershocks." She raised her voice. "This is a one year old!"

"We understand that. But the child is endangered, he's lucky he's even alive. You-know-who-"

The woman erupted. "Is gone!" She exclaimed coldly. "You told me so not only an hour ago!"

"Yes, but not forever." Albus interjected, crossing his hands under his long beard. Severus smoothed his fingers on his son's back, gazing at Potter as his baby slipped in and out of a restless nap.

"Severus needs to resume his job, and he cannot do that while taking care of a baby, not to mention the chaos that will invoke once people realize that Harry is the savior of the wizarding world."

The matron scoffed skeptically. "Savior?" she asked the man as if he was insane. "Albus, you couldn't mean what I think you mean."

"I'm afraid that there's only one way to find out."

She sighed in resignation. "Are you absolutely sure about this Albus? Isn't there any way for me to contact a proper mind healer…"

"No one that we trust, I'm afraid." The old man gently placated the others, his gaze sadly lingering on the confused child. "We need an extract of his memories, and then the procedure to…"

Poppy straightened her back once again, and Severus stiffened. "You do realize that his memories might as well be nonexistent." She told the headmaster as if she was talking to a child.

The other men in the room looked at her blankly and she rolled her eyes. Glaring back at the old man. "He most probably hadn't understood a thing." She explained with pity. "His understandings are what form the memories in the first place, it's not going to do much. He's only a babe."  
"It's better than nothing." Albus said, nodding at Severus to stand. The man did so reluctantly, his heart hammering against his chest. Occlude, he ordered himself. Occlude your mind and keep the emotions at bay.

"Well I can't do anything against their will. He obviously doesn't want to give the child to…"

Showing the utter devastation on his face would alert Harry, and Severus hated unsettling his baby more than he already has. He occluded his mind.  
"Poppy." He called the woman quietly, feeling the small bundle of warmth squirm against his chest. His heart broke.

"Severus if you say no-"

"I consent." He interrupted her painful statement before he could change his mind. "I consent to the procedure on his behalf."

"Very well…" she dropped her hands onto her skirt, her eyes filling up. "It would be best if you weren't in the room Severus, to cause further complications."

"Dada?" Harry nudged his chest with his small hands, trying to get his attention. Severus ignored the call, mentally memorizing it as the last time the boy would ever call him that way.

Poppy drew a chair to the middle of the room and darkened the lights with a quick wave of her wand, her movements were brisk and without a moment's delay. She gestured at Potter to seat on the chair and then glanced at Severus.

"Severus, I need you to leave now." She softly stated, watching his strained knuckles go lax around Harry's back. The man nodded emotionlessly.

"I understand Poppy." He turned his back to the people in the office and held Harry up. His eyes dawdling on every soft feature to treasure and memorize for later. The others respectfully engaged Poppy in a conversation to keep the noise going and give the father and son some privacy. Severus took out his wand and casted a quick 'Silencio' around them. He needed this moment to be theirs.

"Harry, sweetheart…" he lowered the baby back to his chest, his head remaining under his chin. He breathed in the soft, creamy smell of the child's hair and his eyes nearly watered.

"Harry…Daddy needs to go away for a while." He said as clearly as he could manage. Hoping that Harry could grasp the words and understand what he was about to say next.

His son drew back, confused. "Dada bye bye?" he looked around the office, expecting his mother to collect him, seeing as Severus was leaving for 'work'. He didn't know that his father wasn't coming back. He had no idea. Which made it blissfully and selfishly easier on Severus.

The potion protégé inhaled deeply. "Yes. Daddy is going away…" he hung his head. "I'm sorry Harry. I truly am."

Harry whimpered at his discomfort and reached out to pat his cheek, the potion protégé smiled weakly. "These people, are going to take good care of you sweetie, and I'll be there, sometimes." He swallowed, knowing that Harry was only understanding half of what he was saying. Maybe that was for the best, he thought grimly.

"Mommy and I love you very much. She loved you so much that she…" he hesitated, his throat clogging. "That she gave her life for you. And I'm doing the same. We need you to be strong, to always stand your ground and take what is rightfully yours."

He smoothed a hand over Harry's soft hair. "We need you to live, no matter what, we need you to know that you are loved. I will always love you." He felt a sudden prickle in his forearm and gasped. It didn't necessarily hurt, but Severus knew exactly why it didn't.

Another death eater-Lucius, most likely- was summoning the others. The heat and the pain was nowhere as strong as Voldemort's summons, but annoying enough to arouse suspicions. Albus was right, there was going to be a bloodbath tonight.

He quickly placed a soft kiss on his son's and held him close. One last time.

He made it quick, diminished his own spell and walked over to Potter who was now settled on the chair and conferring with Lupin quietly. His messy hair mussed in all direction and his robes perfectly pristine on his lean body. He hated the man so much he couldn't verbalize the words, but deep down, he knew he was doing the right thing.

"Here, hold him like this." He told Potter, holding out Harry with both hands. James's eyebrows shot up but he quickly obliged, replacing Severus's hands on the baby, James silently followed his hurried instructions and nervously clung to the squirming baby.

"He's moving too much." Potter muttered nervously, his eyes blown wide at the prospect of holding a small human being in his hands and actually being responsible for it. Snape huffed, rolling his eyes.

"That's why you're supporting his back and neck, to make sure he doesn't fall. Ask Poppy if you needed anything else, I left his list of things with your…" he glanced at the mutt. "With Black." He finished.

Harry squirmed in James's wobbly embrace, complaining and making grabby hands at Severus.

"Take care of him Potter. I will be keeping an eye on you." He and Albus exchanged a look, nodding the young father slowly kneeled in front of the chair and took Harry's hands. "Be good Harry."

"We will guard him with our lives Snape." Potter promised, holding the baby firmly on his lap. Severus couldn't bear the look anymore, they were running out of the time. The prickling in his arm persisted as did Harry's cries.

The double agent turned and left without looking over his shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N; I've been so busy lately! I'm terribly sorry for the delay, but real life keeps interrupting my muse. Thank you all for your feedback, I treasured every single one.

Warnings for; Explicit language, mild slash (James/Sirius), Violence and massacre (non-descriptive).

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter Three

"Please go to sleep." James Potter pleaded for what seemed to be the umpteenth time in the past three days. The baby on his lap only gave him a grumpy glare and then returned back to feverishly chewing on his thumb. James sighed.

They were in their kitchen ( in the safe house the order provided for them four months prior to all this madness), with James seated in one of the chairs he had set by the sink and Harry on his lap.

The Gryffindor's hands were firmly clasped around the baby's back, too afraid that the kid would flail and hurt himself, or worse, James would accidentally drop him out of exhaustion.

Harry had refused to sleep for more than two days, and only managed to get enough rest when he cried himself to the point that he couldn't even open his mouth anymore, and James, having zero experience as a parent and little patience to deal with an uncooperative one year old had no idea how to fix it.

"Why don't you just sleep?" he rubbed Harry's back in frantic circles. Wishing someone would do the same for him.

"Come on, you're a baby. Babies sleep." his words slurred as he voiced his whine like complaints, wincing as a low throbbing pain pulsed in his temples and his glasses sorely dug into his nose.

Harry whimpered quietly and threw him another glossy look. The older man whimpered back, feeling like he could cry at any given moment. He was gloriously past bashing his head against the counter or pulling at his messy, wild hair. He was so exhausted that all his given energy was focused on keeping the baby upright on his lap.

That was the only position that calmed the child. James didn't dare as much as to recline the kid or keep him to his chest without setting Harry off to throw another tantrum.

Extending one trembling hand towards the sink, James checked on the bottle he had carelessly dropped into the bowl earlier. Baby food was out of question after Harry managed to ruin his favorite shirt with apple porridge puke, and soiled the other one with chicken broth as soon as he changed.  
Madam Pomfrey told him the best way to cool a hot bottle was by holding it under running water for a minute or two, James was so spent that he doubted he could hold his hand up long enough to do as she said. He settled for a water bowl instead.

He would have done it with his wand, but he honestly had no idea where he had put it last, a disconcerting fact, and frankly, the last thing on his sleep addled mind. It could be anywhere; by the conjured changing table in the guest room, or in the laundry basket with the ruined shirts or even in their own room on the nightstand. Potter didn't have the slightest idea.

His hand dunked in the cold water and he pulled the bottle out, realizing with dismay that he had left it there too long. The formula milk was positively freezing now. He sighed, rubbing the bottle dry on his rumpled shirt before holding it out to the pouting baby.

If Snivellus could do it then so could he. James thought. He was a marauder, he would sooner die than lose to a one year old.

"Do you want something yummy?" he tried to sound soft, holding out the cold bottle towards the baby with an ashen face. "Maybe some milk? No?" Harry gnawed harder on his thumb, promptly ignoring the desperate young man.

James nodded to himself, breathing out slowly and flexing his hands on Harry's back. "Alright," he told himself. "It's okay, it's okay." he looked down at the baby. "How about we just go to sleep then?" the bottle fell and rolled on the ground as his pleas went ignored. James didn't care.

"He's not sleeping yet?" Sirius's voice washed over him like a cold balm and James screwed his face. 'Good god,' James mused in relief. 'He's back. Finally, he's back.'

That intense fear that gripped them both when the other is out on a mission or a simple patrol is earth shatteringly real. Some days James didn't see Sirius for /days/ to no end until the man finally showed up exhausted, injured or royally pissed off.

James wasn't usually the man they use to do field work, his /talent/ made it absurdly hard to focus during a battle with dozens of different curses of all origins being spewed on all sides all at once. His only use in the order was his funds and his uncanny talent to tell one magical trace from the other.

But the fear still remained; the terror of not seeing the other when they're being sent off to the battlefield with nothing but a wand and a goodbye kiss, or forced to navigate the ruins and corpses after the fight to cross names off a long list of potential names to add to the death eaters' ranks.

Sirius killed and put them behind bars, he was in action. He could get killed at any given time and leave James behind. James searched and examined the bodies of the other people who left their own beloved behind in order to find the unknown death eaters that still weren't in their base.

Funnily enough, James was the one who got more death threats at the end of the day.

Sirius repeated his question as he got closer to the due.

"No." he whined back with closed eyes, feeling Sirius's soft lips land a gentle kiss on his sweat coated forehead.

The other man winced loudly at James's state and flopped down on another chair. "Alright, I know this is going to sound horrible, but, on a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be to give him a bit of dreamless sleep potion?" James's head snapped up in a flash and he glared.

"One hundred and fifty five, Sirius." He gritted out. "We're not giving the kid anything. Especially not an addictive," he trailed off and then shook his head. "Substance."

His partner ran a hand in his hair and rubbed at his stubble with the other. "You need to rest, and so does he. Look at the kid James."

Harry sniffled on his partner's lap, his thumb quivering with his trembling chin. Sirius cringed upon seeing the scene; they might need to replace that thumb with a pacifier soon, he recoiled at the thought of chewed up baby skin. They already had so much to deal with without having to worry about the baby's fingers too.

"What do you suggest I do?" James's hand felt raw from the amount of back rubbing he had been doing. "I cannot get him to sleep, I can barely make him eat... The kid's too stubborn. I feel terrible, and guilty... He's gonna hurt himself like this."

As if on cue Harry let out a pathetic whimper, sitting as rigid as a wooden plank. Sirius crouched down to pick up the fallen bottle that had rolled away under the table, then momentarily flinched back as he realized just how /cold/ the bottle was. He risked another glance at his exhausted, and thoroughly frustrated partner and cleared his throat. James's eyes glimmered with gratitude when Sirius reheated the formula with a quick flick of his wand and handed it to him.

"Okay Harry." The man said. "We're gonna make a deal, you could drink this yummy milk now; and I promise we'll do something fun tomorrow... We go to the zoo, or you can have ice cream... Merlin, I don't know."

"He's not gonna sleep." Padfoot quietly stated. With a heavy sigh, James set the bottle away, narrowing his eyes. Maybe he had missed something, maybe there was still some magical damage left. He bore his eyes on the small child.

Seeing magical traces wasn't something he had to force himself to do. It came as naturally as knowing that a banana was yellow and the sky blue, and right now, all he could see around Harry's halo was nothing besides normal. A blank slate. A white shimmering halo that proved that young Harry hasn't done a single ounce of magic by himself or accident.

Unlike Snape's black murky halo that tinged brown at the edges, or Sirius's that faded into a stormy grey. Halos, or rather, magical traces, rarely had a specific color, unless the magic was dark or morbid in nature. The baby had a vivid bubble of dark surrendering his head that night in Albus's office, and a bit of Poppy's fizzy trace after the medical procedure was done.

But he was fine now.

"We didn't do anything to him." He muttered, titling his head. "I tried everything. There's no trace of magical damage to his body either, I can see that he's healthy but... Why isn't he doing anything?"

Sirius watched the pupil dilation in his eyes closely. He shrugged, gazing at the back of Harry's head.

"Maybe he's in shock?"

"Sirius," James patiently drew his hands away from Harry's back and moved to the baby's temples, swiftly covering the small, perfect shaped ears on the baby's head. His voice was still hushed when he spoke. "It's been three days, this is a one year old whose mind was wiped. He couldn't possibly be in shock."

"I don't know James... I know next to nothing about babies, especially Snape's." his eyes fixated on the dark rings under his beloved's eyes and the drooping baby. He frowned. "But I know that you need to sleep at some point, love. Put him in his crib, he's bound to sleep on his own sometime."

James's drooping eyes were suddenly blown wide as he bared his teeth at Sirius. "We just swore not to neglect him, we made an oath on our magic." James sputtered. "I can't just leave him by himself!"

Padfoot resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "We're not neglecting him, parents do that all the time." At least, his nanny did. The man thought before shaking his head.

"It's normal, okay? James, you work every day, you're an active member of the order, if anything, your toll is twice more than everyone else's, and you're falling off your feet. Come here love, let's go sleep."

After a bit of silent persuasion, the messy haired man nodded, but just as he reluctantly moved to stand, Harry's dam broke and the baby started wailing in earnest, causing James's face to crumple too.

"Great, now he's crying." James felt like crying too. He felt like he should be curled on the floor and wait for it to open up. Parenting was so hard, and exhaustive, and so much work and effort and it hadn't even been three days!

It had only been three days and Harry was already dying. If they didn't adjust him soon, then /they/ might take Harry away. James did not want that to happen, because if it did…then he would never get a chance like this again. It made him feel like a horrible person, but it was true.

There were just so many things that was going wrong, and so little time for him to try to fix them.

Sirius warily reached out to steady his jelly-kneed partner. "Why don't you hand him over to me for a bit?" he asked hesitantly, mulling his lips at the pathetic wails that rose from the small child.

Yawning widely, James deftly kept the crying boy at arms-length as to not cause further agitation. "Sirius, didn't you see what happened last time?"  
"Fair point." They both winced. Harry kept on sniffing.

"Alright how about this buddy; you're coming with me and..." Sirius awkwardly gestured at James but still cringed as he continued. "Your daddy, and we all sleep on our bed. Does that sound good?"

A faint smile formed on the other man's relieved face. "Yeah, see?" he propped the baby in his arms. "That's a great idea, huh? Come on Harry... Do you want something to eat before we go?"

Sirius blinked. "Are you expecting him to answer?" James looked startled at the question. Sirius frantically waved his hands as he tried to explain. "I mean, he's really been quiet these past few days."

Time stopped. James's face had gone even paler, looking as if this earthshattering issue hadn't occurred to him before. His eyes comically bulged behind his round glasses and his mouth dropped open, staring at the tiny, but quiet baby in his arms like he was a grenade.

'Oh damn,' Sirius cursed himself under his breath as his spouse's face morphed into one of utter mortification. Like it was their fault that the baby had gone mute somehow.

"But he could talk," James blurted out more to himself than Sirius. "He's fifteen months old. He talked in the office. Lily told me that he had a very impressive vocabulary for someone his age, and now he hasn't uttered a word in four days. We have to fix this. Let's try this, Harry..."

Sirius interrupted the ranting with concern. "Oh merlin. We should seriously get you to a bed. Come on."

"No Sirius, I'm fine."

"No you're not. You're rambling like a mad man. Give me the kid, or you'll drop him."

The chair next to the sink clattered and fell to the ground as James hastily drew back from the extended hands. "It's..."

Sirius cut him off with a dark scowl. "It's not fine James. You're on a verge of a mental breakdown, and in case you don't remember how that one ends…it sucks…it does. So before we let that happen, let's just take small baby steps, okay?" his black haired partner gently coaxed the fussy baby out of his arms and circled his other arm around him. His body sagged into the embrace.

"Let's just get him to sleep."

James had never been so glad to hear Sirius mention sleep before in his entire life.

"Severus." A rich melodic voice called him from behind.

The potion protégé didn't turn to face the man, he kept on staring out of the arched window into the storm that was barreling outside. There was barely anything to see, as raindrops madly platted against the charmed glass. Still, Severus found the darkness and the howling of the wind rather more pleasant than the blood soaked walls and the disgruntled heap of corpses in the other room.

He felt Lucius closing up on him from behind, two other death eaters took their positions by the door. Severus assumed that they were there in case he wanted to assassinate Malfoy. Not likely, he drawled bitterly in his head, not after seeing the brutal slaughter that had just settled down.

"Lucius…or shall I call you 'my lord' now?" he was too distraught to care about the sardonic tone of his voice, and frankly, he wasn't fazed at all by all of the gore and Bellatrix's remains strewn about in the hall downstairs. For all he cared, he would gladly be the one joining her.

"Come off it." The other man waved him off, the smell of bourbon coming off him in unpleasant waves as small ice cubes crinkled in the tiny shot glass in his raised hand.

"I suppose my congratulation is not warranted either." Severus said, his pupils tightening as the sky lightened up. An earsplitting thunder tore itself from the clouds.

"You know, as well as I, that these arrangement is only temporary. Until our Lord can come back to us."

Severus couldn't stop himself, he chortled. "Of course, I would never doubt your intentions." Both were lying through their teeth, and they both knew it. He idly wondered if the guards standing by the library's door were somehow charmed to be excluded from this conversation.

Even behind masks, their faces remained stoic and their shoulders broadened. Not in the slightest bothered by the way Severus addressed their new 'lord'. Conclusion; either they were brutes and not so bright in the head, or excluded from the conversation somehow. Lucius wanted this conversation to be private, but not obviously so…why?

Severus quickly occluded the confusion in his eyes and turned his head away.

Lucius was arrogant, but not careless, and if there was anyone who could see right through his ploy it was Severus.

Well, there was Bella too…what had remained of her anyways.

"You were late tonight, I expected you by my side the moment you received the news Severus." Lucius said as he placed a hand on Snape's shoulder-the one with the bourbon.

"You know why I was late." He resisted the urge to flinch away from the cold bony grasp Lucius's fingers had on his flesh and the icy cold bottom of the bourbon glass that was digging into his shoulder. The touch was so aggravating that for less than a second Severus even considered scrubbing his skin off with acid. Alas, even the strongest of poisons could not burn off the filth his kind carried.

"I do." The blonde haired man admitted. "What did Dumbledore have to say about this?"

This isn't the dark lord, Severus reminded himself as he steeled his thoughts. Lucius, as pompous and arrogant as he was, didn't have mind reading abilities.

"The same thing that our inner people are spewing about." He sneered as another lighting stroke.

"Either the sources are the same or it's the truth." He concluded, clasping both hands behind his back and subtly brushing off Lucius's strong hold on his shoulder.

"Beaten by a bastard child." Lucius shook his head in disappointment. The glass of bourbon crinkled in his hand as he took a small swing. "How utterly…inconvenient."

Severus swallowed the bile rising his throat. "What came of the brat?" Lucius asked. Severus was a trained double agent and still struggled to keep his face devoid of any response or emotion.

His son was far away, being cared for by Potter and Black. The two people he would get to call /father/ one day. The one thing Severus salvaged and now had lost. He kept deleting these thoughts as soon as they formed. He deleted the ache and devastation and the unfairness. He had a job to do. He was keeping Harry safe.

"Classified information I'm afraid." He replied without a hitch. "Dumbledore doesn't trust me that much."

"You're lying." Lucius easily waved him off.

"All I know is that he was taken in by one of the order members." Enough truth, but not too much details. Lying was almost like second nature to Severus, even before he started working as a spy.

"Names?" the aristocrat man required coldly.

"One of the Blacks was on the list of candidates. Albus Dumbledore is surely too smart to even consider them. For his own sake more than the…kid."  
He unclasped his hands and finally turned his back to the window, threading his mind to the sound of rain as a way to keep his personal thoughts locked away. Rain was always his favorite anchor for Occlumency.

"Are you orchestrating an ambush?" his voice sounded nonchalant, blank, devoid of care. Exactly the way he wanted it to. In his head however, he was raging, he was raving the palace in his mind at the thought of Lucius hurting a hair on his son's head. The two sides of him fought nail and tooth over dominance.

"They're better off dead, especially for defaming our lord and slandering our ways." Severus itched to grab the smug, slightly drunk man by his throat and throttle the life out of him, but he resisted the urge. One day, Lucius, he vowed to himself. One day.

"However, the ranks are a bit too turbulent for ordered attacks. I might decide to just set them loose…fight it out themselves until they're a bit worn out."

Severus hummed, his eyes fixated on the bourbon in Lucius's hand. He should change the subject, the current one hit too close to home for his comfort. He needed at least five more hours to successfully file Harry away in a corner in his mind. It was still too raw, like a stab wound that was just sprinkled with salt.

"Killing Bellatrix was a mistake Lucius," he started, letting a touch of disapprove sip through his voice. "She was one of his most fanatic followers in the inner circle. Insane but promising. The number of people who followed /her/ in return was quite disconcerting…she would have been a great asset by our side."

Lucius let his fingers go slack around the bourbon glass. It fell and sloshed on the carpeted floor with a subdued thud. The man shook off his fingers as he angrily stared into Severus's eyes.

"She was deranged and she dared to question my loyalty. Our lord wouldn't have perished her either."

Severus smirked viciously, he crossed his arms. "You were terrified of her. Scared that she would overthrow /you/ first. I wasn't born yesterday Lucius."

"Our Lord only kept her around to do his dirty work for him. Even he was disgusted of her sometimes, I couldn't let her-" Severus, feeling too comfortable in his skin now, started to pace around the rigid man. He interrupted the rant as he came to a stop behind Lucius.

"Take your rightful place." He finished. He lowered his head next to Lucius's ear. "After all, it's such an honor to follow the dark lord's footsteps in his untimely absence." He whispered in the man's ear. "Only the most loyal are fit for the position."

Lucius whirled around in a flash, wand in hand and his grey eyes narrowed into snake slits.

"Are you questioning me?" he hissed, threateningly raising his wand.

Severus stepped back, rolling his shoulders. Mentally praising himself for getting one on Lucius Malfoy. "I'm not." he said frankly. "Are /you/? Something tells me that you aren't too keen to let go of /this/," he gestured around the room. "Whenever our lord comes back asking for it."

The other man snorted, the wand slackening in his hand. "I'd be foolish to refuse." His eyes stayed narrowed on Severus. "You should be more careful Severus, I'm starting to wonder about your loyalties."

"I'm here by your side, aren't I?"

This time, it was Lucius who loomed over Severus with a triumphant smirk. "It'd better remain this way my friend, otherwise, if our lord-"

Severus loudly cut him off and took a wide step back, his back almost colliding with the cold, rain plastered window. "/When/ our lord is resurrected, I will be the first one in line."

In line to finish him once and for all.

"I must prepare for the speech now." Lucius abruptly declared and pocketed his wand, turning and striding to his guards. "I'm glad we chatted Severus." He threw a smirk at the potion protégé over his shoulder. "You wouldn't mind taking care of the bodies in the hall on your way, would you? The house elves are regrettably squeamish about it."

Only two hours after Sirius had forcibly dragged James to bed, he was rudely awaken by a wet, slobbery hand repeatedly smacking his cheek. He groaned, batting at the chubby hand.

A tiny whine answered him and another smack landed on his chin. Black sighed, grudgingly peeling an eye open to catch the kid giving him the stink eye with his drool covered hand ready to strike again. Sirius warily fumbled his hand to shake James awake but stopped dead in his tracks as he heard the deep snores filling the room and saw his partner's mouth hanging loose in the dark, a shiny line of drool dripping down his chin.

James was, by all definition dead to the world. Sirius realized dryly. Not that Padfoot could blame him, his partner had been left alone with a tiny, uncooperative human being for more than three days, and as sleep addled as Sirius's own brain was, the task of dueling death eaters had apparently taken less toll than parenting Snape's kid.

"Okay, what do you want?" he asked the kid quietly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Harold narrowed his eyes, and just as quietly smacked his cheek again, almost as if he also didn't want to wake James.

Sirius clicked his tongue and reached out to restrain Harry's raised hand. "Stop that kid." He grimaced at the drool but then almost choked as the smell hit him. He almost turned over in their bed.

"Oh Merlin." He wrinkled his nose in disgust, coughing and choking quietly as he suddenly understood the dire need of the freshening charms James had hastily reapplied to the changing table earlier; how could something /so/ small be the source of that smell…merlin. He winced as he got into a sitting position. He threw a desperate glance over at his James and selfishly wished that the man would wake up on his own in a few moments if the smell got bad enough.

Harry scowled at him and pouted, his eyes glazing over with tears as the smell got worse and James remained peacefully asleep.

"Alright. Fine." He scooped up the demanding baby with bated breath and hastily jumped off their bed, stilling immediately as the bed loudly screeched under their weight. Sirius's widened eyes met Harry's and then they both glanced at James's snoring figure.

Still asleep then, the curly haired man thought in relief and stood on the tip of his toes. Harry remained blissfully silent as they made their way out of the dark room and didn't spare James a second glance. Almost as if the kid himself was relieved by the fact that he was /finally/ away from the crazy man he had spent three days with.

"Come on, he couldn't have been that bad kid." He mumbled to the grumpy baby as he padded to their guest room, where James had set up the changing table before. He kept his chin up and breathed mostly through his mouth to avoid the smell. He had never spent much time around kids, but he had no idea they smelled so profoundly /bad/.

Unlike the first time he had attempted holding Harold, the kid was either too spent or desperate enough that he didn't put up a fight even as Sirius set him down on the changing table.

"No wonder it smells awful, it's like a dungbomb exploded in there." Sirius tells the quiet wriggling child as he clumsily taped the clean diaper. Harry was too busy giving him the cold shoulder and munching on his drool covered fist to reply.

He scooped Harry up and headed downstairs to their kitchen instead of the bedroom; he had barely eaten a thing in the past three days on mission, and he felt too guilty to ask James for anything when he arrived. He decided that a simple midnight sandwich would have to do if he wanted to stave off starvation.

As he set Harry on the table and moved about their kitchen he noticed the kid quietly babbling to his fist and paused, listening to the kid. He didn't know why, but the fact that Snape's spawn hadn't uttered a single word must have had more to it than the kid's natural giving-the-cold-shoulder attitude.

Maybe James's concerns weren't that far off the point, he quietly mused.

He took the bread out of the pantry and set the knife on the furthest counter away from the babbling child as he wrestled a bit with the pickle jar; they had some leftover ham, some roast beef, and a bit ketchup. Not his favorite choice for a meal, as he abhorred ketchup with pickles in general, but he was hungry enough to include both and suck it up.

"You see kid?" Sirius turned to Harry, ketchup in hand. "You've worn him out so much that I might get poisoned now. You're to blame if I died tonight, so keep up the good act."

Harry pretended (or at least, Sirius thought) that he didn't notice nor heard the grumpy man as he moved around him to fetch a plate.  
He put all of the ingredients in front of Harry and collapsed in a nearby chair, cringing as the plate clattered on the table. Harry paused momentarily to give him an unimpressed glare and went back to zoning out.

"Well sorry for being a human being kid." He bitterly mumbled under his breath, reaching for the bread. "Not all of us can go on hunger strikes and act badass about it."

The kid grunted, but didn't turn to face the man. Sirius rolled his eyes and fetched a table spoon to sort out the ketchup. He eyed his options with a careful eye.

He hummed. "Ham and roast beef, could be two separate sandwiches…but meh." He shrugged. "Let's get creative tonight." He was never a cook to begin with, and he never had much to do with sandwiches while growing up, seeing as pure blood etiquette whirred its ugly nose away at anything less than a graceful meal that required at least three forks and a carving knife.

If Sirius was being brutally honest with himself, without James's all thumbs cooking, he would have probably starved to the death in a dark alley somewhere. Not many people could be trusted to handle food these days.

"Never, ever, eat what I give you kid." Sirius said as he mashed his collapsing sandwich together, and grimaced at the unappetizing sight. "We don't want our savoir dying of food poisoning." Harry's head snapped to his face as he said this and Sirius raised both eyebrows at the sudden rapt attention he was receiving.

"Okay…" he said slowly, and brought the jaw aching sandwich close to take a bite. Harry complained loudly as he opened his mouth.  
Sirius lowered the sandwich with a sigh. "What?"

Harry whined louder, his eyes solely on Sirius's hands, or rather, the bulging sandwich in them. Padfoot's eyebrows shot higher.

"Is…anything wrong with it?"

Harry ignored him altogether but smacked his lips as his eyes remained on Sirius's hands. Realization dawned on the exhausted man; he might not have spent much time with kids, but he knew a hungry baby when he saw one. The look he could bet James hadn't seen on Harry ever since he offered him food.

"You're hungry, aren't you little fella?" Sirius asked, warily extending one hand in his pocket to grab his wand. Harry brought his fist back in his mouth as a response and not even once took his eyes off the sandwich.

Flicking his wrist and muttering a quick 'Accio', Sirius retrieved the cold milk bottle James had left near the sink. He warmed it up and scooted closer to the drooling child.

"Hey there champ," he held the bottle close to Harry's face. "Do you want that milk now?"

But Harry's eyes didn't budge away from the sandwich even when Sirius handed the bottle to him.

"Don't tell me you want /that/." Sirius grimaced as he gestured at the dismantled mess that was once a sandwich. Harry's eyes glossed over and his bottom lip quivered as he tore his gaze away and met Sirius's eyes.

The man's heart melted on the spot as his eyes widened. Frantically setting the bottle away, he risked a quick glance above to ensure that James was still asleep and then stared back at the baby. "Alright, so you want it. That's cool kid, please don't cry!" in a desperate attempt to quieten the increasing sobs Sirius reached out and tickled Harry's tummy.

Harry went rigid and stared at Sirius with an open mouth. His face morphing into shock as the tears were kept at bay.  
Sirius cautiously tickled the baby's tummy again and cocked his head with a grin as Harry gave out a small giggle that seemed more because of the unexpectedness than genuine mirth.

"So you like that, don't you?" Harry grabbed his fingers with his drool covered hand, but Black couldn't find it in himself to be mad and did the next best thing he could come up with. He pressed his lips together and blew a raspberry. Again, Harry drew back in shock, before smacking his lips together, trying to imitate Sirius.

Glad that the kid was distracted, he picked up Harry and put the small baby on his lap before tearing off a small piece of his sandwich, keeping his other hand firmly around the boy's stomach. The child whimpered but opened his mouth obediently.

"Can you even chew that?" he asked worriedly as he tore another piece, he dipped it in the ketchup jar and held it up to the baby.

Harry sniffled as he ate, but as far as Sirius could tell, he didn't seem to have any problems with chomping the food. Now, he only had to hope that he hadn't poisoned the kid for real, or James would kill him. He blew another raspberry at the thought, causing Harold to look up at him with wonder shining in his eyes.

The first real expression Sirius had seen on the boy ever since they brought him home. As little as it was, it was still progress, he supposed.  
"I had one rule kid," he muttered to Harry as he held up a small chunk of ham. Harry turned his head away and Sirius instinctively raised his wand to empty the bottle, filling it up with some water.

Harry drank and ate as if it was his first time, and the older man had to slow him down several times so the child wouldn't get sick. His own stomach coiled and groaned out in hunger, but Sirius ignored it in favor to feed Harry as much as he could.

"That's a good boy." He praised Harry as he gave him some more water. "There we go, drink it all then. Good boy." He mopped up Harry's chin with a handkerchief.

"What are you doing?" a shocked voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing both heads to snap up.

Sirius gave his partner a sheepish grin. "Midnight snack?" James rubbed his eyes and fixed his skew glasses as he stumbled into the kitchen.  
James stalked into the kitchen, looking like he thought that everything was a delusion. "Is he…Sirius is he actually eating?" he rammed his glasses firmly to his eyes as he slumped down in front of them. Harry barely paused his pace, and graced James presence with a whine.

"It seems like it, yeah. He drank quite a bit too." Sirius nodded at the empty water bottle with his chin. James looked back and forth between the bottle and the baby. If Sirius wasn't busy looking just as bewildered, he would've laughed his ass off at James's comical expression.

Harry reached his hand for the pickle in Sirius's hand with a small sound. James snapped out of his trance and raised both eyebrows at the pickle.

"Are you giving him ham and pickles?" he asked indignantly, but there was no real heat behind his voice. "You do know that this is a one year old…his digestive system-"

Before he could work himself into a complete panic attack Sirius hushed him down with a wave of his hand.

"He's fine James, calm down baby."

Harry stopped like a deer caught in headlight, with his ketchup smeared lips open and his hand halfway showing pickle in his mouth. Sirius rolled his eyes at the kid. "Not you Harry, I meant baby as in…oh this is gonna get confusing."

"We're giving him junk food."

"He's eating James. That's all that matters." Sirius firmly corrected him.

James lowered his head in his hands. "Other parents give their kids veggies and chicken broth and milk…here we are, after three days, feeding a one year old ham and pickles coated in expired ketchup. I shudder to think what Lily has to say right now."

Sirius scratched his chin as he looked down at Harry.

"We're terrific parents James. See? The kid is already self-sufficient."

James blankly stared as Harry cleaned off his mouth with Sirius's night shirt and then emptied the remaining water in his bottle on the man's lap.

"Yeah." James nodded faintly. "Self-sufficient."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N; Er...Funny story, I've had this chapter ready for a very long time, but much to my embarrassment, I forgot that I haven't uploaded it yet, so here's a double update as an apology!

Warnings for; explicit language, vague homophobic slur, period typical homophobia, gore and violence, blood.

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

/Severus quietly made his way to the stairs, his body slouched with exhaustion and his bleary eyes barely seeing ahead, the living room's lights were out, so the double agent knew he could step on their cat by accident any moment now.

He didn't care, he just wanted to be near his wife and son, he could hear Lily's angelic voice carrying out Harry's lullaby perfectly, it was like a burst of light in his chest. That loving, soothing voice that was putting their son to sleep.

He stood by the doorway, quietly in awe as he watched Lily rocking Harry to sleep by the window. They had their backs to him, but Lily seemed to know of his presence, she only slightly raised her voice, almost teasingly as she sang.

Severus let the words chase his conscious thoughts away and momentarily relished in the contentment beaming in his chest. Lily swayed from side to side, her red flaming her bundled up in a messy bun she must have done one-handedly. Their son snuggled up in the crook of her elbow, his thumb in his mouth.

Lily finally turned to face him, grinning tiredly as she crooned the song down at the baby with a fond expression. She deliberately changed the words but kept the rhythm.

"Why are you so late husband of mine?" she sang, grinning. "I thought you told me you'd be home by nine."

Rolling his eyes at her antics, Severus risked waking Harry's slumber and stepped up to kiss his wife. Lily returned the chaste peck and shook her head. "Honestly, Sev…it's four in the morning." She lightly swatted him on the back of his neck. "Harry keeps awaking up, like he knows you're not here yet. You have completely tarnished Harry's sleeping patterns you know."

"You're lucky he likes you so much," the baby in question wrinkled his nose and sneezed; a small, barely audible sound that made Lily coo down at the child again.

Severus hesitantly reached out and stroked his son's perfectly smooth cheek. "It won't happen again." He promised even though they both knew his working hours were never really in his control. Severus was enslaved by a mad man, and mad men barely cared about the working hours.

"I love you."

The smiling woman leaned up for another kiss. "I love you too."

Time passed like stale blood oozing out of an old wound; it stretched its presence out like a looming shadow over their lives. Each passing day, month and year haunted by the fact that it may be their last. The fact that it was barely moving made it all the more miserable.

They were living in hard times, a time where double identity and betrayal were as common as chocolate scones in a pastry shop, fresh out of an oven, day after day.

At some point through the years, James would not have been too surprised to hear Albus Dumbledore's name amongst the new list of traitors. He promised himself and Sirius that he'd always be on guard to avoid that awful feeling of duplicity knocking the wind out of him again.

Not after Peter. Never again.

The only people they could trust was themselves and the one person they held most dear with their lives. The attacks were infrequent, granted, the death eaters barely ever held any public raids anymore but the death tolls were nowhere near stable.

James got called to the scant battlefields and trashed homes, he got called to accompany the corpses of the victims for hours to no end to identify their killers in hopes to get hold of those responsible, and it was all for naught. Death eaters were like ghosts sipping in and out of the scenes; James even swore that some of them did not even have a trace to begin with.

If the act was abhorring for him in times of war and open fire, it was even worse now that the war resembled a dying amber lying underneath a heap of ashes. It made him feel like he was the only person aware of the chaos still going on around them. It made him sick to the stomach.

It had been at least five months since he had to go on a mission, a breath-holding period that stretched even further for his partner Sirius, invalided for almost ten months now. It didn't change the relief he had felt, but it also felt like Lucius's cronies were getting ready for something bigger, something beyond their usual level of cruelty.

He was in the kitchen, looking over some financial files Sirius kept ignoring, but really, he was just looking over at Harry's strewn drawings. His hands held his chin up, a sloppy smile on his lips as his chest burst with pride and guilt. Harry's crayons were haphazardly out of their box, the child's latest evidence laid right in front of James.

It melted his heart.

"You hold the crayon like this kid, not all mangled up in your fingers." Sirius was teaching the child earlier that day, maneuvering the green crayon in Harry's small hand.

"But I don't like it!" the small child pouted, glaring at his hand.

His partner had chortled. "Yeah well, you could take that up with the crayon."

The drawing turned out spectacularly well, even in despite of Harry's wrong pen holding abilities.

Harry was in the middle, with James and Sirius at either side of him, standing in the middle of a Quidditch field with a picnic basket, much to his amusement, there was no signs of brooms anywhere.

The picture couldn't have been more endearing and painful at the same time. James felt as if he was living someone else's life. It felt too surreal, too blissful to be his. Especially with his choice in partner and social standing. Having Harry was a miracle. It did have his obstacles, but in the end…having Harry was so worth it.

James sighed, picking up his quill, intending to get back to the files when he heard a distinct clacking on the window. He shot up from the chair, his eyes only making out the owl's blurry outline as he snatched his glasses from the table.

They had finally owled him at three in the morning after five months of silence, James was not startled in the slightest when he received the urgent call:  
-Your expertise is required. Report for mission alone.

He serenely took his wand from the counter, dropped into the bedroom to kiss a groggy Sirius goodbye and then mildly checked his son's slumbering form from his room's ajar door.

His /son/.

Not his /son/.

/His/ son.

As in Severus Snape's child with Lily Evans. One dead and the other missing.

Not his. Not James Potter's child.

The thought of another reported raid wheeled his thoughts right to the one person he'd rather never think about. Severus Snape. Harry's father and his archenemy.

"James?" Sirius croaked out from their bedroom. Almost rolling his eyes, the man silently went back in their room to check up on his partner.  
"Go back to sleep." He told the man quietly, his voice dosed with exasperated affection.

A mop of startling wavy black hair rose from their bed, Sirius's eyes barely open and his hands fumbling with the bed covers. "Whe'ya goin'?"  
Striding to the nightstand, he hummed. "It's fine, they need me out there. I'll be back before you know it."

The other man almost leapt off the bed in his hurry, toppling to the floor, and wrapped in their tussled blankets. "What?" he grunted incredulously, his mind still dazzled with sleep.

James quickly went through the drawers, his brows furrowed. "They sent an owl. Take care of Harry, I'll be back." He found the small folded parchment in the last drawer, underneath their penknife and pocketed it with caution.

By then Sirius had dismantled himself from the blankets and was rolling on the bed to face him, his eyes clearer and shining with concern.  
"Did something happen? Like an attack or-?"

"I don't know love; they just called for me so whatever it was…it's already over and done with. Don't let Harry get out of schedule, I swear to merlin if I come home to him missing his bath time again…"

"It's fine, merlin James! That was one time." Sirius rubbed his face, his expression turning solemn. "Would you be gone for long?"  
James shrugged, picking his work robes from the wardrobe, (half-glad that Sirius had called him over or he would have forgotten it. The night was chilly.)  
"I have no idea. Shouldn't take more than a day. I'll owl you if it takes any longer." he settled for a quick peck on the other man's forehead and then hurriedly drew back. "Love you." he whispered and then looked at his wristwatch.

It was getting late. He needed to leave.

"Be careful." Sirius called to him, his hand squeezing James's before letting go.

After checking on Harry again and summoning his boots, James quietly stumbled out of their house, pulling on his dragonhide boots with his wand securely fixed in his wand holster, which was usually fastened to his forearm.

He saw the glimmering aura of their wards and felt the ripples wash over him like gallops of fresh cold water as he passed through, and distanced himself from their porch to approach the second set of wards.

They were not newly set; unlike the ones Frank had placed around the hedges surrendering the cottage two weeks ago; the two set of rune-based wards that surrendered their house like a globe, had been there ever since they truly realized the danger Harry's stay with them could pose to everyone.

The first blood wards were put there a week after they had brought Harry home. Grief stricken and desperate, Alice Longbottom dropped in their cottage with puffy red eyes, clutching a bundle of blankets to her chest. She shakily explained that Dumbledore had sent her while other members were being 'cleared'. Entrusting her son to Sirius, she unsteadily went out to set the wards.

"It's Frank." She said miserably with a cup of tea in her shaking hands, not long after putting the finishing touches on the blood wards.

"His leg James!" she sounded like she was weeping but there was no tears involved. Almost as if, they had dried up from the amount of previous crying. "They said it was cursed beyond repair…Sectumsempra, they said…if we hadn't found him sooner…he would have…he would have…"  
"Sectumsempra?" Sirius intoned skeptically, his eyes bulging.

James stilled. Frank was hit in the leg with Sectumsempra (a second-degree dark curse that brought instant brutal death) and he was still alive? How?  
Alice's frail body shook with tearless sobs. She was clearly still in shock after two days. "The healer at the scene cut off his leg immediately after it started up-they can't regrow another limb. First Lily and now…"

She was in a bad way long after she finished her tear-jerking tale, long enough that James almost doubted the credibility of their new wards and made her stay the night over, seemingly out of concern.

Of course, Alice was his friend and he did worry for her, but that new, raw, and feral part of his paternal instincts kept her around mainly for her to reapply the wards again the next morning.

That night, and for the many following months, he and Sirius kept Harry's crib in their room, both of them too paranoid to let the child out of their sight.

When Harry turned three, they installed the second set of protective wards.

He was two when he occasionally started to walk on his own, and three years old when he finally stopped crawling around. It was a very concerning fact, and it really bothered both him and Sirius. Thinking that there might be something wrong with the baby, Poppy told them (deadpanned and with a bit of exasperation) that while the situation was quite unusual, there was little to fret over, considering Harry's /situation/.

'It's not that he didn't know how to walk,' she told them after the fifth time they called her over to check on Harry. 'It's just that he doesn't want to do it, for whatever reason.'

They were so used to Harry being carried around and crawling all over them, that the thought of their small baby literally /walking out on them/ in the middle of the night was hard to digest.

Except, Harry did exactly that, on a cold January night. That /one/ time when Sirius and James had forgotten to lock the door after their short and sweet bit of flying, their baby toddled to the door in the middle of the night, opened the unlocked door with a bit of luck and accidental magic and then headed out for a midnight adventure.

The messy haired man had never seen his partner so scared and guilt ridden in his life, as they both frantically searched around the house for a small, walking, ticking bomb of a baby.

He set the new wards himself. The crib went back to their room.

As he finally passed through those exact wards in the middle of the night now, James felt that old fear momentarily grip his guts.

He shook it off and blinked twice before apparating.

A wand was pointed at his face as his body appeared in a darkened room.

"Code name." a name hissed in his face. James held his hands up, his gut twisting with nausea.

"Nuthatch." The messy haired man croaked out with disdain.

A nuthatch, he mentally rolled his eyes. He and Sirius both hated the codename, both preferring James's less confusing and degrading nickname, which was given to him by Moony.

Prongs.

Still, too dangerous for fieldwork since a particular death eater knew of it too.

It would compromise his position.

"You're late." Moody grunted upon his own arrival to the dark gloomy room. James paused to gather his bearing and fixed his glasses, the wand disappeared from his vision as the robe-clad stranger stood back.

"Sorry." He muttered, politely inclining his head to the two other members accompanying Moody. The room they were in was his usual root before taking off to the main location, some sort of a go-between location in case someone tailed him. It was rather smart of the order to think of it, even if it did complicate things.

Moody smacked his cane to the ground once and turned, deftly limping out of the room with the two male members following him. James swiftly followed suit.

"When did it happen?" he asked as they were climbing down the stairs, his eyes raking the abandoned house in darkness.

One of the men looked over his shoulder. He had striking blue eyes and very short hair that faded into ginger strands at the end. An unfamiliar face to James. "Nearly half an hour ago."

The old rusty stairs creaked, their boots left fine prints on the dust, and James made a point of sweeping his robe over the trails as they exited the house while he glared the stoic men accompanying his superior. He did not like discussing his mission with strangers around, and he doubted Moody did too.

Why were the men here then?

They exited the finely furnished-although crumbling-house and strode to the park that was only a few streets over. Their every move shrouded in a deadly silence.

James was still feeling unsettled.

The old abandoned house he just used as a root reminded James a lot of the Shrieking Shack, with its ruined build, peeled off wallpapers and moth eaten curtains, but the one thing that bugged him more was the fact that it was a former victim's house. It was located in the out skirts of London, one of his earlier cases. He shared this one with Moony shortly after getting Harry.

It was the same Muggle house, he, himself had cleared out of two muggle corpses. A very young couple. Newly-weds too, if the rings on their cold fingers was anything to go by.

Bodies that had Severus Snape's trace all over it before he had completely disappeared off the map. No one had heard of Severus after that case, nearly five years ago.

Only a mad man would put the dump to use, so naturally, it was Moody's brilliant idea of camouflage. Hiding in plain sight.

"Singular attack?"

The auror snorted shrewdly. "Thirty bodies. Hardly singular, is it?"

"The causalities are thirty?" his mind was whirling, and his guts were churning unpleasantly. Thirty people? They had lost over thirty people tonight? What happened?! He would have known if a rescue mission or something of the sort was going on tonight. Sirius would have been called if it was a counterattack, or in defense. They would have been informed sooner.

Moody stopped, his fake eyes rolling madly as it scrutinized the messy haired man.

"This one's different Potter. There's a bit of both in the mix this time."

James did a double take. "A bit of both?"

"You'll see when you get there. This one's different." The old man repeated.

"Civilians in the battlefield?" was that what he meant by 'a bit of both in the mix'? James felt his throat bob as they went further down and to the scarce playground in the middle of the park.

No one addressed his question, but James was reeling too much to get upset about it. Civilians would mean more corpses. Women and children involved. Children, his mind reeled with fear.

Harry.

He's safe, James slowly breathed out. Asleep in his room, Sirius is barely a room away, they have wards, and it was too early for an unexpected visit.  
Get it together Potter. He thought faintly as he fought off the urge to flee back to their house, bundle up Harry in his arms and cower under the bed until everything was just over.

"Potter." Alastor barked out, taking out his wand. Swallowing hard, James took out his own wand with little hesitation, his mind fogged with the thoughts of Harry and Sirius back home.

Alastor shifted through his pockets for the portkey, the raven-haired man nervously fixed his glasses out of habit, his hair musing with the mild breeze. Moody grunted, fetching out a small juice box. He ran his wand over the portkey and held it out to James.

"The password is your husband's favorite color." The two men balked at Moody, their eyes warily raking James. Nevertheless, the men, presumably, Moody's new assistants, were too peeved to raise any complaints or shoot disgusted glances his way. James felt a warm glow radiate in his chest.  
He let a faint smile form on his face as he took it. "A bit overboard, isn't it?"

Moody did not look impressed with his shit eating grin. "Overboard is what keeps you alive boy! CONSTANT VIGILENCE!"

The other men jumped, and if James had not known Alastor as well as he did he would have too. Although, it was probably not fair to the other men. They couldn't see the silencing charm around them.

Moody never conversed with any living being without a silencing charm in place. They could all but cause an explosion and muggles would not bat an eye. The shimmering aura of the charm reassured that.

Moody's eyes glinted as James smirked, remaining nonchalant. "You see this Jenkins?" he spat to one of the men, the blue-eyed one standing by his left.

"Always prepared for the unexpected, this one. Unlike you /buffoons/." The man said as though James was a prize on show, his tone surprisingly proud and gloating as he berated poor Jenkins.

"He does cheat a bit though, don't you lad?" he nodded his chin at his eyes. James fixed his glasses again (he was irrationally worried about Harry), the juice box was weighting him down. It was surprisingly heavy, but as far as he could tell, it wasn't anything dangerous.

Just a portkey.

"You can leave now." He softly informed his boss, his wand hovering above his wrist.

Moody snorted. "Oh I have every intention of leaving boy." The scarred auror turned and started to walk away but his assistants didn't. They didn't even turn to follow their boss.

James cleared his throat with a pointed look and Moody smirked at him over his shoulder.

"What are you waiting for Potter? Invitation?"

"Aren't you taking your uh…associates?" he gestured at the stoic men.

"Oh Jenkins and Millan? No, these two clowns are coming with you."

Oh.

James realized dumbly.

So they were /his/ escorts, not Moody's.

James's hand closed into a loose fist. "No. Alastor, I work alone." He never worked with guards breathing down his neck before and he wasn't about to start now. Something about this mission sounded seriously off, he thought.

Moody's eyes flashed as James hurriedly caught up with him, the guards looked a bit insulted and taken back at his harsh tone.  
"It's too dangerous." Alastor Moody grunted gruffly.

James flattened his boots on the ground with a determined frown. "I work alone," he repeated firmly. "There's a reason for it. You know that."  
"Their trace could mingle with the scene. I've always worked alone." He waved his hand at the guards, his eyes staring into Alastor's eye.

Moody grounded his jaw. "I'm not offering niceties boy! With Black gone, you'd need them. This is an order!"

James stood his ground, huffing at the older man. "And I'm ordering you," he exclaimed pompously, reminding himself vaguely of his past teenage self. "You don't know the specifics nor the job. I do. Let me do my job Moody."

Moody gritted his teeth, and actually looked mad on James's behalf. "I promised Black that you won't go on suicide missions alone Potter." He finally admitted. "Take it up with him, not me."

James felt annoyance spark at his irrational partner but pushed it down for later, one week on the couch would teach Sirius not to make people promise things like that. Right now, he just needed to convince Alastor.

Come to think of it, he shouldn't have been surprised. With the man, validated home himself, of course he would talk with Moody concerning James's safety measures. Not that he needed it.

"This isn't a suicide mission, nothing has changed! They're only corpses."

"And these corpses have owners! How long do you think it takes for the strays to come clambering off to wipe out the scene? You know those filthy dogs better than I do Potter. I told you this is a different case. The bodies aren't just lying there to your heart's content."

"I don't care even if it's you-know-who's butt naked body that's out there. I am going alone. I'm a valuable asset Moody."

"Exactly why I should-"

"Let me do my job. I can deal with death eaters, be it dead, or alive. If there are any strays out there for cleanup, I will send a Patronus."

"Black specifically asked for two guards to accompany you on missions-."

"But he doesn't get to do that Moody!"

"-and I agree with him! You can hold your ground in a duel Potter, sure, but not when you're too focused in your own mumbo-jumbo." Alastor made wild gestures with his hands to immitate James's said /mumbo-jumbo/.

"I can take care of myself."

Moody rolled his magical eye at him. "No Potter, you zone out. You zone out too often on your own, and this mission is dangerous enough without-."  
James crossed his arms. "And I'm alive, despite all odds. Would you take a look at that," sarcasm dripped from every word.

"Alastor, don't make this hard on the both of us, take them with you, please."

The Auror gave him 'the look' but yielded. "Don't come groveling to my feet if you ended up dead Potter. I can't keep undoing your screw-ups." He warned.

"I won't."

"And Black's prison sentence."

"Alright."

"Send a written report to Dumbledore after you finished up. Send my regards to Black and your boy."

"Thanks Moody. I will."

There was a sharp pull behind his navel as he murmured the word 'royal blue' and the world around him whirled away, or rather, he was the one whirling until he almost face planted on a rocky ground.

James shot out his hands against his better judgment and ended up scrapping them against the groveling ground, he stopped to a halt on his knees and cursed. He never got the hang of Portkey traveling.

He flushed in shame as he brushed his hands off on his robes, glad that there wasn't any company to witness the ungraceful landing.

He cringed at the headache inducing sight as he descended the hill and headed to the scene. He could not see the battle, or rather its effects from afar, but he didn't need to; dark, goo like substance clung to every visible surface as far as his eyes could see. Dark magic oozed from the shedding pine trees and the rocks groveling under his feet. He could tell the entanglement had started early on, from the murky auras, singed tree barks and the canopy of dark leaves above.

Thirty bodies happen to be dead in a plain a little further away, he mused grimly as he surveyed the scene. No bodies yet. He followed the black goo, his hand reeling as it traced the invisible trace.

The forest shifted around him, in despite of being completely wounded with the aftershocks of various dark spells colliding at once (all second degrees and higher, if the magical radiation was anything to go by) he thought, almost gagging. Crickets screeched and the twigs beneath his feet crunched but all James could hear was the rushing of his own blood in his ears.

The aura got only thicker the deeper he went.

Not civilian then. He already knew that. From the looks of it quite a bit of them too. James hoped that at least fifteen of those bodies were death eaters.  
He caught sight of the first body after another five minutes of swaying after the trail; his eyes downcast as he deftly surveyed the bloodied mess on the pine shed ground, completely engulfed in a blanket of onyx black goo.

This couldn't have been the morbid result of a few duels, James mused, there must have been an explosion involved.

"Sliced into ribbons." He muttered, crouching next to the mangled body. The body was mauled, too deformed and he couldn't clearly identify them, but he knew a death eater had killed them. No death eater killed their own with a spell like this.

He found another one just a few feet over and passed over a few others as he got to the scene of massacre, his mind only filtering needed information and brushing off the gore. He had been living in war for so long that it barely affected him anymore.

The dark magic outranked other dueling spells used by order members, but James could still see wisps of white tightly knitted around the bodies, already flickering. Magical auras tended to remain for some time even after its wielder had died, before eventually flickering out, like a light bulb.  
Sixteen of the bodies he found was theirs; suggesting the heavy toll the order had taken tonight, during a mission James and Sirius knew nothing about. Was the attack an ambush from the death eater's side? Alternatively, it could have been a secret sneak attack Dumbledore had ordered in hopes to catch Lucius off guard, and had failed miserably.

Most of them were not recognizable, but the messy haired man found Alec Bones among the few he could recognize, and felt his throat tighten. Alec's four-year-old daughter had been Harry's playdate more than once.

He was nearly done with the first round of his assessing; his expression grim, he looked up at the sky, noticing that it was getting lighter and the weather was even chillier. Turning to the far end of the meadow to take a small break, James took a double take. His eyes almost bulging out, he toppled over a crumpled death eater, his jaw almost dismantling from his face.

A grey murky aura vividly formed a small circle behind an old pine tree that was obscuring James's view. He did not even need his glasses to tell whose it was.

"No way." He breathed out; running to the seated body whose back was leaning against the trunk of the tree.

No way in hell. He thought numbly, his eyes not believing what they were seeing. James fixed his glasses with shaking hands, his mouth suddenly dry and his blood running icy cold in his veins.

Was that…?

A masked body leant against the tree, clad in dark death eater robes. Two large bloodstains on his chest and shoulder turned the robe impossibly blacker, and a small bit of white skin peaked from the rip in the man's good shoulder.

"Oh my god." James croaked out, falling to his knees in front of the unmoving death eater.

He reached out, his hand wavering as it latched on the silver mask on the body's face. James tugged it off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

 _"_ _Oh my god." James croaked out, falling to his knees in front of the unmoving death eater._

 _He reached out, his hand wavering as it latched on the silver mask on the body's face. James tugged it off._

"Merlin's soggy left sock!" he squeaked, covering his mouth with one hand and grasping the mask tighter. Severus Snape's slack face greeted him. His eyes were closed and there was a long bleeding gash running from his left cheek to his jaw. The man looked pale, but not dead.

Neither did his magical aura.

He leaned close; bringing his ear to Snape's parted lips to see if he was breathing. His eyes widened. He was breathing. Faintly, but still there. Severus Snape was alive.

With a hand still covering his mouth, James quickly fished out his own wand, his knees digging into the harsh ground. He ran it over Snape.

"Ennverate." He muttered, his thoughts racing as the man twitched but did not open his eyes. James repeated the spell. Suddenly, Severus jolted forward as if he was struck by lightning, James cried out, flying back.

He cursed as his head hit the ground, watching with wide blown eyes as Snape trained his wand on him, his face strained with pain.  
"Snape?" he asked, bringing his hands up in surrender.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "What. The. Hell. Are you doing here, you moron?!" he hissed, his wand digging into the other man's cheek.

"You're alive." 'After being dead to the world for five years'. The unsaid bit hung in the air between them.

He quickly collected himself off the ground, wincing in sympathy as Snape struggled to do the same. As James reached down to help Snape, the man tackled him, sending them both stumbling down on the ground again.

"You idiot Potter!" Snape sneered, supporting his bleeding shoulder. "You're supposed to be taking care of my son! What on earth are you doing here,

you good for nothing- gah!" James steadied the swaying man that was almost falling over his chest by grabbing the man's bad abruptly clamped his lips together.

/My/ son. For a second there, maybe even less, he was going to correct Snape, having caught himself just in time. Still not my son, he thought morosely. Even after all these years, it was /his/ son.

James's unwillingness to look for a missing man did naught to prevent him from coming back, Severus Snape, unlike that heap of dust, wasn't something he could just brush under a rug. Only if he had realized that slightly sooner, he wouldn't have felt the wind knocked out of him now that forty pounds of pure guilt and hatred was sitting on his chest, pointing a wand to his head.

"I'm on a mission." He bit out, looking around the field, as if expecting one of the bodies to eavesdrop on them. "What the hell are /you/ doing here

Snape?! Where were you?!" his heart sank, why /was/ Snape here? Has he been operating undercover for all those years and if yes, then has his cover blown?

Would he take Harry away?

Snape was in too much pain for an interrogation, and James was not feeling generous, not with his son on the line. He roughly pushed Severus off his body and stood. He had half a mind to just leave Severus Snape bleeding with thirty other dead bodies and pretend none of this had ever happened, then he wouldn't have to answer unnecessary questions or jeopardize Harry.

The man would surely die out here in this cold on his own. Although he knew that leaving Snape, here for dead was not a bright idea either, in case the man was found out as a spy. If not, then taking him to order members would be a grave mistake.

"Snape?" he cautiously called out. The chilly breeze shifted their hair-the potion master's matted with blood- and ran between the leaves, beating

against their freezing faces. Severus was crouched on his knees, his left hand gripping his right shoulder, his right hand clenched around the wand. He was wheezing for breath and James could see the dark bloodstain expand across the man's chest. He knew he had little time to decide.

"Snape can you hear me?" he looked around the field of bodies with dread, feeling Snape's grey aura put a damp on the overwhelming sense of bleakness that hung around them.

Snape didn't answer him for a while but James already knew what he should do. He sighed with closed eyes.

"Come on Snape, it's not safe to stay here anymore. I'm taking you." Snape looked up; sweat coating his pale face, James realized that un-stunning Severus must have put a strain on his chest wound and cringed guiltily.

"Where?" Snape sneered.

Rolling his eyes, James roughly seized the man's good arm and started walking. "Somewhere away from here or we're both dead."

Snape kept up with his quick pace, both men ended up stepping over the gore and dismantled bodies with more ease than James was expecting. Snape's expression turned completely stoic by the time they were approaching the hill.

He worried little about finishing his mission; he had all he could get from the scene, knew the casualties and he had a living informant trailing after him now, Snape should be more than happy to fill in what James had missed in order to save his ass.

James took out the juice box and held it to Snape, his eyes hooded. "This takes us to an unknown location," he explained. "A go-between, all members use it to deter detection."

The potion master didn't nod; he extended a steady hand and grasped the end of the juice box with ease. James silently took a moment to marvel Snape's ability to shut out pain, using Occlumency. The only kind of magic James never could see or detect, it slipped past his senses like a taunting ghost story every single time.

"The password?" Severus grunted.

James smirked. "Royal blue." The world whirled around them in a spiral of blurred colors, a harsh pull behind his navel reminded James of how famished he was (he had skipped dinner that night in favor of telling Harry two stories instead of one and then didn't feel like eating afterwards. He realized that he should have.)

He crashed onto the ground as Snape gracefully halted to a stop, managing to stick the landing even though he was injured and at a disadvantage. James grumbled obscenities under his breath.

Lucky bastard.

Before Snape could look around and remember the old, abandoned house and all it stood for, James surged forward, hurriedly closing up on the man.

"Hold onto your guts." He told Snape as he grasped onto his shoulder and apparated without a respite. Snape was crouching on the ground and heaving into the grass in front of their house as soon as they landed. Wincing, the messy haired man fixed his glasses, thinking that maybe instant apparating after a portkey wasn't too healthy for an injured man.

He patiently waited for Snape to ride it out, and gazed at their house with longing; oh, what he would give to curl up under their warm blankets with Sirius next to him right now, or somehow get rid of Snape so the man would not be tempted to take Harry away (not that he could, because he couldn't. Harry was theirs… he really was.)

Snape came to his senses and followed his gaze with a bewildered expression coloring his pallid demeanor. "Potter, don't tell me that you brought me to your house." He muttered dangerously, his eyes flickering in the early pre-sunrise light.

"I won't." James shrugged.

"Potter!"

James snapped. "I couldn't take you to Poppy, alright?! And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't just leave you for dead… it would have been wrong."  
The potion master sneered. "So instead you bring me here where my son could easily be endangered?"

James fumbled with his hands, looking back and forth between the fuming man and his house.

"Yes…I meant no! This is the safest place he could possibly be at, and for you too, until you're well enough to get lost."

"Potter-"

"It's your call Snape. Either bleed out by our porch or just get in."

"I know…it can be a little difficult. You won't have to meet him if you don't want to, I could ask Sirius to take him on a playdate today, you could stay a night over…we'll work it out."

"I'm leaving as soon as they're patched up, Potter, I don't have time for playing house."

"Whatever." He ushered Snape to the backdoor and into their small kitchen, Harry's drawings and their financial papers was still scattered across their dining table. Severus limped to the nearest chair and deftly lowered himself, his expression betraying nothing.

"Seat still." James threw their curtains open and unlocked the windows, pushing them up as far as they went; feeling as if he needed to get some air into the suffocating room. He summoned the first aid kit they kept in the second cupboard near the stove (Harry was a clumsy kid, much to James's absolute horror) and waved a hand at Snape.

"Take the robe off Snape." The cold morning breeze that picked up pace and pushed its way into the kitchen was not helping the icy atmosphere; James could feel it in his bones. Snape's dark eyes lingered on Harry's drawings as he slowly unbuttoned his robe.

Shivering from the cold, but refusing to yield, James left the windows wide open and busied himself as he sorted through their potions; they had a pepper-up and half a vial of dreamless sleep potion left from that /one/ time, two full vials of pain relievers and a disinfectant.

He could make-do with these and a few healing spells, there wasn't any dark goo clinging to Snape so the curses used on him weren't necessarily harmful or foul.

Must have been an order member who put him in his place then. James didn't know how to feel about it. He took out the bandages and two vials of pain relievers. Mulling his lips skeptically, he regarded both vials, silently trying to determine which was which.

Sometime ago, when Sirius broke his kneepad during a hunt, the two dosages of their pain relievers got switched up, and James hadn't had the time to figure out which was which since. Well, he guessed it really didn't matter if their job was the same.

He made his way to Snape, watching as the man struggled to get his shirt off. He put his kit on the table and helped him out, carefully tugging the black shirt off his archenemy's head as early, shy sunbeams shined through the open curtains.

He cringed at the sight. "They sure got you." He muttered, his eyes taking in the mangled flesh of the man's shoulder and the large open gap in his chest, still oozing blood.

Snape didn't reply. He just reached for the vials lying on the table with half-lidded eyes.

Panicking for a second, James's hand instinctively shot out in front of the man's face.

His voice was louder than he intended it to. "Those are…." He lowered his voice, his gaze darting upward.

He continued quietly. "One of those is the lowest dosage and the other is the highest we have around," he explained. "They got all switched up, so I think you need to take both potions for it to really have an effect? I don't know which is which."

Severus dryly raised his eyebrows. "You do realize that I am a potion master… I could tell the difference already."

James's own eyebrows raised in surprise. "You did? I couldn't tell them apart."

"The higher dose is richer in color, and for your information, you can't just take a bit from both dosages and hope for the best, that leads to blood poisoning…This is third year material Potter." James flushed at the jab.

"Just drink it."

He summoned a water bowl and methodically set on washing off the blood, his eyes nervously shifting from Severus to Harry's 's eyes were closed, but not from the pain. James was under the impression that the man was processing some form of information.

"What happened out there? Thirty bodies is a few too many."

Severus didn't bother opening his eyes. "It was an unplanned point ambush. There were only four of them at first, on patrol duty, but they saw about ten order members up ahead in the plain, also patrolling and securing the area, and called for reinforcement. Things got ugly." He hissed the last bit as

James applied the disinfectant with his wand, his brow furrowed.

They sat tensely as James wrapped Snape's chest wound with gauze. "How did you end up there?" his voice was tense as he finally asked this, his eye twitching.

Snape opened his eyes, blankly staring at him. "I was leading the reinforcement group. Obviously." Bitterness dripped from his every word, and Potter was not impressed in the slightest, he roughly tightened the bandage, causing Snape to flinch.

"I meant…" the messy haired man took a deep breath. "How did you get back? Where were you?"

Severus brought his hand up and batted James's hands away from his bandaged chest. He sneered at him. "If I were allowed to drop off classified information like lemon drops I would have ended up dead long ago Potter." He glared at James as he continued.

"Alright, fine. Be that way. But I still have to make a detailed report so you have to give me more information than that…I don't imagine the bodies would still be there when I return."

"That's because you're an imbecile Potter." Severus deadpanned. "You shouldn't have abandoned your mission for me, or better yet, you shouldn't have left my son to fend for himself in the middle of the night to come look at corpses in the first place."

James fumed, his nostrils flaring. "I did not leave Harry to… /fend/ for himself! How dare you suggest that?" he hung his head. "He is asleep in his room now; Sirius is barely two rooms away. We take good care of him."

"Was your cover blown Snape?" will you take Harry from me?

Snape rolled his eyes. "No you moron. I was relocated. Lucius wanted me back for some reason, and so I returned. This was my first ambush here in England."

James wasn't stupid enough to ask for location again.

"Was there a blast of some kind? Like an explosion? I noticed dark radiations surrendering the woods, at a much larger scale than they should have been and the bodies were mutilated..."

"Boyle thought it was a good idea to use 'imprecation' in a restricted area."

He mulled his lips skeptically. "And you survived the blast?"

The man shrugged. "I was petrified from behind, I don't remember much beyond that. I should have been dead."

"You still would have been if I hadn't rescued you. Those wounds didn't look nice."

Snape sneered at him. "I am forever thankful for your graciousness Potter."

They sat in silence.

Suddenly, Snape reached out for Harry's drawing, and James bolted out of his chair, crouched over to-what? Take it from him? He deflated, his eyes round as the injured man blankly examined the painting.

"I want to talk about-"

Gulping loudly, James shook his head. "I should go and prepare my report first," he blurted out. "Then make some breakfast." He pointed at Severus.

"You could use a shower."

He forced Snape out of their kitchen, and hurried ahead to snatch some clothes and close Harry's bedroom door before he let the man up.  
Snape dutifully followed him and headed straight for the bathroom, leaving James stranded and frantic in their hallway, trying not to have a panic attack.

He headed downstairs, cleared their table and wrote one of the messiest and most hurried reports of his life. There wasn't much to write, he just mentioned the casualties, cause of death, which turned out to be an explosion caused by Boyle (Although he didn't mention him by name.) and no survivors.

By the time, he was finished and Snape was fresh out of shower, it was already six thirty in the morning. He lent Severus some of Sirius's old clothes, it hung off the scarred man a little, but James's was too small for him so they had to make do.

They both retreated to the kitchen again, sitting in silence as James made the final changes on his unreadable report parchment. He pitied the poor member who had to figure /that/ out.

Snape settled across him in Sirius's chair, cradling his tea with great care.

After another fifteen minutes, James could not bear the silence anymore. "Are you going to take him away?"

"Take him where Potter?" the man asked. "The hell I just crawled out of? I'm not insane."

It was like a giant weight had been lifted from his chest and James could breathe again. "Oh." He said lamely and they sunk into another bout of silence. Eventually, the potion master seemed to be dosing off in his seat before snapping himself awake at the last moment. It was annoying James.

Two hours passed and James couldn't delay waking Harry anymore, his son usually was up by eight as it was. Now /that/ was something he and Sirius hadn't seen coming.

"Oh come on, how early could he wake up in the morning?" Sirius made the mistake to ask that question. "He's just a baby."

At the crack of dawn, that's when. Eight thirty was just the result of five years of negotiations and compromise. It was either eight in the morning a nap, or waking up at noon and sleeping at five in the morning. James took his chances with the nap.

As he headed for the child's room, he had half a mind to wake Sirius and tell him about Snape first, but changed his mind and made his way into Harry's room.

The door was closed as he had left it, and shy beams of sunshine shone through the blue curtains, some of Harry's crayons were strewn around the floor and his toy broom was haphazardly positioned as a tripping point.

James threw a fond smile at the curled up child. Harry only neglected cleaning his room if he was exhausted beyond caring. James could scold the boy and hold off his broom all he wanted, but Harry's cute petulance was unwavering.

He sat by Harry's head, his hand smoothing down Harry's messy hair.

"Harry," he called quietly, his hand cold against Harry's head. "Come on buddy it's eight forty already."

Harry shifted under the blankets, his eyes heavy. James hesitated; maybe he should let Harry sleep in. He could cross off his nap and let Harry sleep in until Snape was out of their home. He quickly perished the thought; A Harry without an afternoon nap was a nightmare.

"Daddy nooo..."

"I know, I know," he brushed some of Harry's hair away from his forehead. "But if you don't get up now, you won't be tired for a nap, sorry Bambi, but we both don't want you to be cranky all day."

 _James remembered the day Harry called him Dada for the first time, clear as a day._

 _He was in the kitchen, washing some vegetables Sirius had picked up from the market that day, and Harry was in his charmed highchair at the table,_ _watching him work. The kid was quietly talking with himself._

 _"Dada up!" the baby suddenly demanded. Out of nowhere. James paled, not daring to turn. It must have been a mistake, he told himself, as he ran his_ _wand over a purple cabbage. Harry babbled all the time; the chances of /that/ actually being directed at him were slime._

 _He heard the chair rattling as Harry struggled, and called out again. "Dada! Up!"_

 _James dropped the cabbage at once, not even flinching when water splashed all over his face._

 _Holy shit._

 _He was_ not _having a moment. Nope, not at all having a significant moment when another human being called him 'Dada'._

 _"Oh my god, this is so exhilarating." His awed voice was barely above a whisper. He deiced to give it one more chance and see if Harry really was_ _speaking to him. He turned around so fast that his neck cricked._

 _Harry was clearly ordering him, the baby's hands were raised high to be picked up, and he was petulantly glaring at James, urging his hands higher to_ _prove his point. "Dada up! Up!"_

 _"It's James, Harry," James half-heartedly corrected the boy. He was too shocked to move._

 _Harry gave him the stink eye, his legs kicked at the chair and he squirmed in his seat. "Up."_

 _The messy haired man gave in and warily leaned in to scoop the frustrated child in his arms._

 _"Just James." He breathed out._

Harry's body was like a raging inferno as the boy sleepily snuggled himself in James's arms and continued his lazy slumber on the man's chest. Sighing, James bundled up Harry and his blanket and rolled his eyes as he made his way to their room.

On days like this, Harry much preferred the 'Fun Dad' to James, so he would coddle up with a half-asleep Sirius for a couple more hours, and then they would both demand pancakes for breakfast. They would be thick as thieves all day until Harry's missed nap made its appearance…then it was all on James.

Sirius had a trail of drool lining on his pillow, he was sleeping on his stomach and more than half his hair was in his half opened mouth. James quietly lowered Harry next to the man and rolled his eyes at the stark similarity.

"You'early." Sirius mumbled, his hand blindly gathering Harry closer to his side.

James cringed. "Yeah about that…"

Sirius's eyes snapped open and he shot up in a sitting position. "Oh Merlin's socks! Are you injured?! Did something happen that-." Harry interrupted his partner's mad rambling with an annoyed grumble.

"God no Sirius! I'm fine!"

"Moody?"

"Yeah, he sent the letter, gave me a portkey to the location. There was a blast of some sort, the causalities were high."

Sirius collapsed back into the mattress. "O'thankmerlin'." he groaned in his pillow.

James narrowed his eyes into a glare.

"-Actually I think we need to talk about why you asked for /certain favors/ from Moody and why you would think that I'm a damn damsel in-."  
A loud thud cut him off, Padfoot raised an inquiring eyebrow at James.

"…And that too." The messy haired man finished lamely. Sirius looked down at the floor, as if trying to see through the ground and then back at James again.

Sirius gave him a suspicious look. "James, baby, what did you do?" he hissed in a harsh whisper.

They both leaned over the sleeping child's head. James guiltily wrung his hands as he started whispering. "He was at the scene and he was bleeding all over, and he was going to die, but I couldn't just turn him into The Order, they would have killed him on sight Sirius."

"Who did you bring over?"

"He promised he'd be gone before the sun sets."

Before the other man could open his mouth, James' hand shot out and clamped over his lips.

"No swearing in front of the baby, no shouting, and no you don't have the permission to kill the person I brought over. Please Padfoot."  
Sirius glared at him over his hand and then nodded, James slowly let go of his partner's face and sat back.

"Who in the name of /broccoli/ did you bring over?! In our house, with Harry?! Are you out of your fudging mind?!" Sirius whispered-yelled.

"He was dying, okay? I had no other choice. I had to sneak him out and no one saw him anyways, we were all alone."

"Haven't you learned a thing from me? Your Auror husband? Honestly we talked about this…Wait a second, you were /alone/? They sent you there /alone/?!"

James scowled. "Yes dear /husband/, I sent your hired cronies back with Moody. Honestly, how old do you think I am that you felt the need to /beg/

Moody of all people to assign me /guards/ to babysit me?!"Sirius gaped at him, seething. "You brought a fugitive stranger in our /home/! Doesn't that answer the question?"

"Heavens to Fu…Betsy Sirius! He's not going to hurt Harry!"

"How could you possibly know that?" James squirmed under his partner's harsh gaze. "Who did you bring over? Please at least tell me he's restrained."

"Snape is in the kitchen." James mumbled.

"WHAT?!"


End file.
